psych163

VIP

4 years ago

Not recommended

I have so many questions.

1. He has a disability but when he has to save his friend it suddenly disappears?

2. He almost gets killed for no apparent reason and after he mysteriously survives he just gets on with his life like nothing happened. What about police or going to hospital for a check up or something (anything)? He was missing for more than a freaking DAY?!?

3. When he first connects to the game he get's scanned by the system which specifically told him he has weaker vital signs than average human. Did he not hear this information and was only there for readers or something? His brain process is amazing to say the least... The writer really doesn't understand basic biology...

4. When he discovers his skin is showing signs of livor mortis (which he diagnosed himself with his comprehensive knowledge of medicine??) and instead of finally going to hospital he just gives blood to his best friend because his father "luckily" works in a Institute of Biology and just waits in his home for some miracle results.... I mean seriously?!?

5. When he get's results THE NEXT DAY his friend already has all the information about the virus and how it works (from one blood sample and 24 hours). I got the impression it was a new virus? And what kind of virus suddenly starts improving body just for the fun of it with no bad symptoms?

6. He survives assassination and instead of telling his "friend" he is alive, he just plays game and then tells his flatmate to lie for him that he died. Just because he didn't want to join her guild. What kind of special logic is this? Did the virus affect his thought process? You have to be a special kind of person to keep the lie that you died so you can surprise her later when he suddenly becomes better at playing a game. Jesus....

This was just for his life outside of game... So many plot holes and inaccuracies...

Now let's talk about his time in game... From what I read I don't think writer has any clear idea how he will develop the story...

7. It was said that quests are very rare in this game and yet as soon as he arrives in the beginners village he gets a quest. And not just one but several of them in a row. What was the point saying quests are rare if everybody get them? Did I misunderstood this? Also the highest ranked quests were supposed to be SSS+ (which in my opinion should be either available late in the game or affect the whole continent or something like that) but he gets this quest for eating some bread... Are you kidding me?

8. Usually in game the stats have more affect on whole game (but that depends on a game). He puts all his stats in strength and yet he is still faster than any other player nevermind the class. I don't know much about VRMMO games but don't they follow some kind of rules with leveling, like if you put everything in strength you have high damage but slower movement ? Also leveling was supposed to be very hard and yet one death night still get's to be on a top list even after losing so many levels attacking main character.

I have more questions but I am too tired to write them all because this novel is just not for me. These are all the questions after reading the first 30 or so chapters so I will sadly drop this novel.

TheHoblit

4 years ago

Not recommended

My main problem with this story is the Main Character, in the first 20 or so chapters he makes a handful of downright stupid decisions for no explained or good reason. A story lives and dies on the back of it's main character, and when a character can be actively against their own best interest with no good reasons or explanation, it massively reduces the quality of the story.

Other than that, this is an incredibly generic VRMMO story, so if you like that sort of narrative than definitely give it a try.

But if you are looking for an interesting Main Character with character, or anything outside of the normal VRMMO tropes, don't bother.

SylanDurrand

4 years ago

·

Edited

Not recommended

This became more of a rant so I apologize for the lack of bias and how long it got.

TL;DR--generic VRMMO, but with outlandish plot devices and interactions that need to be fleshed out/shows the author needs more experience. The main plot device does not seem to have been thought though very well.

Style and world building - 7/10

Common sense - 2/10

The world building and overall system is good. Generic, but balanced with only some questionable game mechanics on things like jobs and economy. The author's writing style and flow is also very smooth. But the plot leaves much to be desired.

For me there are two main issues. The first being the main force driving the plot. For all intents and purposes this it is a cop out. It fixes many of the issues the MC struggles with straight forwardly with little to no downside. The author then uses this to create what seems to be a long lasting plot point. However, to a normal person, this would never have been in issue or at least not as dramatic as seen here.

This also gets into the next problem. The author seems have no understanding of human interactions. If there is an obvious reaction and plot twist, the author finds a way to make a jump to a different train of thought that is akin to the difference in walking and teleportation. The characters are superficially set up to have uniqueness and personality, but that changes on a dime to fit the plot.

This next part contains MINOR SPOILERS!

As an example to what I just said. A character hides their identity by covering up their characteristics, until the MC finds out who they are. After that, this person walks around without a care in the world, simply so the author can add eye-candy into the story.

As for the theory of the escapism, it would make sense if the MC wasn't obviously coherent on how he plans out his future or if he actually showed trauma. Instead the MC brushes everything off as if it was an everyday occurrence and immediately goes back to everyday life.

He shows prowess in decision making and planning, but not even the slightest ability to empathize with one specific character. The author is obviously trying to set up for a cliche meeting where the MC reveals himself to shock everyone, but as stated earlier, the way the author sets that up leave much to be desired as he takes the most outrageous route.

STOP!!!

This next part contains MAJOR SPOILERS and should not be read unless you would like the know the specifics of what was previously stated without reading the novel.

The plot point that causes the MC to become OP: fixes a long term disability, allows him to grind longer in the game than others, givens him a unique class, and is essentially stated to be outlandish healing factor in a normal world. The downside: he has to sunbathe. Something that would have major real world changing consequences is given only to the MC and brushed over (even though scientists got a hold of it, they do not seem interested in the potential cure all it has for medicinal purposes).

The intent of the author is that the MC is (for all intents and purposes) a zombie. But this is not explained well and reads more like the MC's philosophical pondering before finding out he is fine. It took me several tries to understand what the author was trying convey as they obviously do not know much about biology or the terms used (not meaning to personally attack them on lack of knowledge).

The "virus" is explained to be due simply from dead bodies and is "able to continuously revive dead cells." But "Its propagation speed is faster than the life cycle of your cells. It had gone overboard and sped up your body’s metabolism." And thus is causing livor mortis. Which does not make sense, as the dead bodies he was buried with should also be alive and a direct contradiction as this does not explain why something that revives dead cells is killing him. Basic biology dictates -- cell cycle includes cell splitting to reproduce. Speeding this up will not cause his body to die (perhaps cancer). So very little thinking went into this plot point which is the the backbone of the whole novel. (But it is fiction so screw science.)

(I can only hope there is a semi-reasonable explanation for the other player the game classified as an undead.)

The cause of this plot device comes from an assassination attempt gone wrong. The target of the assassination is someone close to the MC, but afterwards the MC does not check in with the person to let them know he is ok or ask if they are. Similarly, he doesn't seem worried that there was an attempt on their life, but instead cuts off all ties. Nor is the assassination furthered expanded on or explained.

And the MC's thought process of cutting off ties seems to stem from embarrassment and feelings of incompetence. But within 10 chapters, the author shows major hints towards the disability that causes these feeling to be in progress of being completely cured, while giving the MC absolute confidence and unrivaled skill.

(Blatant bias and venting of frustration)

And when the MC finally reunites with old friends (who currently assume he is dead), I would not be surprised if they forgive him and congratulate him on becoming the best player.

VRMMO: The Unrivaled

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