Book 7, Chapter 19 - The Entanglement of Love And Hate

“What about the other woman?” Ah Duo asked softly, her voice as soft as a mild breeze. 

I calmed the churning, complicated emotions in my head and looked down. “... she’s dying to kill him…”

A long silence lingered in the air. Looking at the figure among the flowers, pain entangled with hurt in my heart.

Can I really kill him?

Can I…

really do it…

Even after he’d hurt my loved one, after he’d hurt my heart, my heart still continued to ache for him.

When I had first come into this world, I’d met him. He was the first person I’d believed in.

From the moment he’d put his shoes on my feet, when he’d helped me up and said that he would bring me back for healing, his name had already been imprinted in my heart, Xing Chuan.

Why…

Can’t we… get along well together…

I took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. “In his life, he has never been loved. He has always been abandoned. His parents abandoned him. His grandfather abandoned him. The woman he loved abandoned him. No one held onto him. He’d rather die than stay alive. He wants to die now but he can’t because he still has his value. He has to stay alive to be used. Ah Duo, I know that I have no right to make you let go of your past…” I glanced at her and she immediately averted her eyes. After so many days, she finally responded. She’d moved. 

“But in this world, how many people have a great past? Many people have their own miserable and unbearable pasts. Even Ah Fei, he lived in fear every day, afraid of getting eaten by Margaery at any time…”

Ah Duo lifted her head to look at Ah Fei. Ah Fei’s body stiffened and he clenched his fists.

“Look at him. He wants to die but he doesn’t even have the right to die. He has to continue to live, continue to be used and continue to suffer in pain…” Ah Duo slowly redirected her gaze back to the feeble figure among the flowers. I held the hand that Ah Duo was resting on her knee. “You at least have the right to choose death. If you want to die, I can fulfill your wish at any time. But, is it worth it? You are going to have a good life from now on, and the person who loves you is right next to you. We can start again afresh. You have decades of beautiful life ahead of you. Is it worth it to die now…”

Ah Duo’s hand clenched tight under my palm. Her tears dripped onto the back of my hand that was holding hers. 

“I-, I don’t want to go back… I don’t-, don’t want to go back…” Ah Duo burst into tears and Ah Fei quickly pulled her into an embrace. “Ah Duo! Ah Duo…” Ah Fei choked with sobs too.

“Ah Fei…” Ah Duo held Ah Fei as she wailed in pain, “I don’t want to go back… Don’t want to… go back…”

Ah Fei nodded as he choked through his sobs, “Alright. Don’t go back. We won’t go back!”

I stroked Ah Duo’s back gently as I got up. It’s great that she’s crying it out.

I turned to look at the figure among the flowers. He’d already turned to look at me quietly. I returned his gaze, my face expressionless and cold. At least before he dies, he managed to save someone.

A gust of wind blew over the flowers between us. Colorful flower petals floated past between us, our hair fluttering in the wind. More and more flower petals came down, covering his empty and lonely gaze, as well as his scrawny figure.

When the wind stopped and flower petals coated the ground, that place was already empty. As though he’d been but a fleeting shadow and had shattered completely in the storm of spacetime.

“Mommy, mommy.” Little Carl rushed over. I watched him run up to me, his cheeks rosy from the exercise. “Uncle Gehenna called. He wants to talk to you.”

“Alright.” I rubbed Little Carl’s head gently. Little Carl is so cute.

I glanced at the two people who were still crying in each other’s embrace and smiled, at ease. As long as they can cry, they will still have hope to continue with their lives. I turned and left. The beautiful tomorrow is coming. It would be such a pity to die now…

A cargo spaceship flew past in the sky above, casting its huge shadow down around me. I looked up and watched it leave with a smile. It was here to pick up the people in Zone 1. Eletta was going to lead the people from Zone 1 to go together to pick up their family members. Having people from their zone come pick them up would put the people of Zone 1 at ease. 

Watching the spaceship, I thought to myself, There is still so much work to be done. For example, we still needed a uniform. Not only would a handsome uniform make one look spirited, it also played a unique role in inspiring unity.

In Noah City, the work clothes were all uniforms, color-coded according to the work position.

I liked capes. Having a cape like a magician would look cool. I could get Ah Zong to design one. He had talent in designing clothes.

The spaceships should be repainted too. We should spray our symbol on the hull, so that we would look more like a nation’s army rather than some disorderly mob.

I returned to my office and turned on the communicator. On the screen, Gehenna seemed to be in his spaceship. From the looks of it, he’d left Ghost King Town too.

He propped one leg on his other knee as he hooked his fingers at me smugly. “Sis, time for war. Let’s go attack Nubis’ spacecraft. I’ll come and meet you.”

“Not going,” I replied straight away. Gehenna nearly fell off his seat in shock. With a sweep of my hand, the camera panned to capture the view outside the window. “I am busy building my nation.”

“Huh?!” Gehenna gawked with his eyes wide open. “We haven’t even gone to war yet. Why are you building your nation now?!”

“I’m building my nation now because war hasn’t started yet. We can only undertake a protracted war when we have a nation. I don’t trust the Great Ghost King.”

“The Great Ghost King doesn’t trust you either,” Gehenna blurted out. He quickly covered his mouth but the situation had already turned awkward.

I glared at him coldly. “I know. That’s why I am building my nation and strengthening my own base.”

“Within the Ghost Eclispers?!” He exclaimed in surprise, as though it was unbelievable that someone would build a nest within the Ghost Eclipsers’ territory. 

I looked at him glumly. “That’s right. Within the Ghost Eclipsers! Or should I go to Silver Moon City or the Aurora Legion?! The Aurora Legion doesn’t even have their own base, let alone supplies. However, Margaery’s livable zones have everything. In this broken world, a place is mine as long as I conquer it. I am building my nation right here and the Great Ghost King can’t do anything to me.”

Gehenna let out a long sigh, “Ha… Impressive. Impressive. You are a statesman of vision but you have to come for the war anyway.” Gehenna shifted his seating position, now looking somewhat distressed. “Because you called me your people, in the end, the Great Ghost King doesn’t trust me either. You told him to eradicate the Ghost Eclipsers, so he threw the task to me. On top of that, he is not sending a single man from his side! How do you expect me to fight this war?”

My face grew grave. I glanced up at him. “He is not sending a single man at all?” *Humph.* How typical, this is just like the people from Silver Moon City.

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