“Lil’ Bing!”

“Vwoom!” A burst of golden light shot out from the nozzle and hit my statue. As I watched it melt, I felt great. “Phew. I felt like destroying it long ago.” It was awesomely cathartic.

“Lil’ Bing…” Raffles looked at me helplessly and quickly took the particle cannon away, putting it back on the weapons rack.

The entire statue began to melt and collapse. My statue’s face began to distort like melting ice cream.

“I know you always thought the statue was ugly…” Raffles ran to the statue and grabbed the golden apple as if he were saving it. “It’s a token of everyone’s regard, though. Uncle Rudy sculpted it himself with an awl…” Raffles...