Book 4, Chapter 129 - Toss And Turn

Ah!” I grabbed his hand in a hurry but I didn’t dare to exert too much strength. His hand was so soft. I was worried that I would hurt him.

Just then, Second Sis came over. She picked up Little Prince and sat by the pool. Then, she pulled down her collar and exposed her boob that was extremely bloated. Little Prince then closed his eyes and began to accurately suck on it.

It turned out that Little Prince had yet to be weaned off completely. He had been looking for milk earlier.

Red-faced, I watched Second Sis breastfeed him; the sight of Second Sis breastfeeding was as beautiful as a painting, one that could comfort your heart in an instant.

I didn’t know how long I had been watching. Finally, Second Sis put Little Prince into my arms again. I stared at her dumbfounded. I could tell that she had something to tell me but in the end she left on her own.

Carrying Little Prince who was sleeping soundly, I watched Second Sis fly away. I seemed to understand what she was thinking. She hoped that I could spend some time with Little Prince, so that Little Prince could learn how to be a human from me.

I carried Little Prince and returned to the side of Xing Chuan’s bed. Gently I laid Little Prince down, and he stretched comfortably. Once he laid on the bed, he started snoring. He snored pretty loud.

The flying corpse guards sat by the side, watching Little Prince and Xing Chuan closely.

“Sister…” All of a sudden, I heard Xing Chuan’s muffled ravings. Glancing over, I saw that Xing Chuan’s face had turned red.

I ran to the water bed and knelt next to him, placing my hand on his forehead. He was really having a fever!

“Sister…” His eyebrows were tightly knitted in a painful and sorrowful expression that he had never worn when sober. “No… Sister Elena… Sister… Elena… No…” He shook his head anxiously, and his body began to shiver. Tears flowed out from his eyes and down his cheeks, drenching the water bed.

Elena… The sister he’d once loved dearly.

I still remembered his calmness and coldness when he’d brought up Elena’s death. It’d seemed like he wasn’t bothered by Elena’s death anymore.

However, now he was so sad, as though he was a child who’d lost his mother…

It turned out that the sad and terrified Xing Chuan had simply sealed everything that had happened back then in the bottom of his heart. He’d used his expressionless face as his disguise.

Disguise… was also a kind of self-protection.

Xing Chuan had been working hard to protect himself.

So the real Xing Chuan had been buried in his heart. The Xing Chuan who was afraid of being alone, afraid of the dark, afraid of losing his family, and had no sense of security.

Xing Chuan, is that why you kept bothering me?

I seem to understand your heart now.

“Monster… Old monster…” He shouted in a muffled voice, his tears constantly flowing down.

Now I saw the fragile side of Xing Chuan. He was crying, he was afraid, he was in pain…

He was actually… far more afraid of being alone than I was…

I turned to go to the backup capsule, fishing out an anti-inflammatory mask and a thermal blanket. Returning to Xing Chuan who was still raving in his sleep, I put the mask on his face. It immediately let out anti-inflammatory fog, which he then breathed in.

He began to calm down, but his tears continued to flow down underneath the mask.

I took away the mask. The tears at the corners of his eyes dried gradually. His pale lips moved as he said weakly, “Luo Bing… Don’t leave me… Don’t…” He extended his hand to the air.

My heart ached at the sight of that weak hand and the tears on his pillow. Eyebrows knitted, I pressed his hand down. Then, I put a thermal blanket on him.

I lay next to Little Prince but I couldn’t sleep.

A heavy weight pressed on my chest and I couldn’t breathe.

The absurd things that he’d said reverberated in my ear. Those disgusting things that he’d said had betrayed him and exposed his true desire.

He’d said that my body was warm.

Because… he desired warmth. He missed Elena’s motherly warmth…

He’d said that he wanted to enter me…

Because… he desired a family member who only belonged to him and only kept him company…

He’d said that he wanted to do it with me until I fell for him…

Because… he desired love…

It was a psychological issue. The man who’d consumed Elena had planted a seed of darkness in him.

That had definitely been a terrifying and miserable sight.

The thirteen-year-old Xing Chuan had only been able to look on as the person he’d been closest to and loved the most was consumed and turned into ashes. The helplessness and hatred that had been buried deep inside him had turned into his nightmares, leaving him unable to sleep in peace…

Hence, he’d needed someone to sleep next to him…

I tossed and turned. I had insomnia. Glancing at the flying corpse guards, I requested, “Please bring me a set of man’s clothing.”

One of the flying corpses immediately left the palace and flew off.

The sky to the east was turning bright. A curtain of water covered the palace balcony like a natural glass. It was so beautiful that it felt like we were staying in the legendary Shuilian Cave[1].

I spotted a button for raising temperature by the side of the water bed. It was a pity that there wasn’t any energy resource now to power the heat.

My gaze fell upon Xing Chuan’s face, still in deep sleep. His frown had smoothened. Although the fever went down, he still hadn’t slept well.

Xing Chuan had always said that I was strong, that I gave him a sense of security.

I hadn’t understood then and found it strange.

Now, I understood that he hadn’t been lying, he really lacked a sense of security.

For the sake of his constant disguise, he’d forced himself to be numb and cold towards his initial fear. He wouldn’t admit that he was fragile too because he was Xing Chuan, the Highness of Silver Moon City. How could he have a fragile side?

He’d truly needed my strength to give him a sense of security, and allow him to sleep soundly.

His obsession with me should have been derived from this...

Because he sought that sense of security he felt from me and wanted to take it all for himself, he was afraid of losing me. Xing Chuan’s obsession should be the same obsession that children had for their mothers.

I seemed to have found the reason, but I still didn’t know how to deal with Xing Chuan or how to heal him.

Because I couldn’t be with him just because of that. I wouldn’t leave Harry or Raffles for him. I wouldn’t leave the people that I loved.

Plus, Xing Chuan was too obsessed. It was so intense that he wanted to have sex with me when he saw me. How could I submit to that?!

He was pitiful but I couldn’t give him the love he wanted…

Suddenly, Little Prince tossed and turned. His little wings bent under him as he rolled around. I was worried that he would break his own wings. Just as I wanted to pat him gently, he stood up, rubbed his eyes, rushed down the bed, and ran over to the pool.

I immediately chased after him. Then, I saw him stand by the pool and reveal his little bird. He started peeing!

*Ah!* I swam in that pool last night!


[1]  Home of the Monkey King from the famous Chinese novel, Journey to the West.

Previous Chapter Next Chapter