Zu An quickly dodged backwards. He saw some dirty yellow liquid pouring down from a bucket above the door. Even before it reached him, he could tell what it was from the smell.
Clearly, someone had placed a bucket of piss above the door beforehand. When someone opened the door to enter, they would be covered in the foul liquid. Even though it wasn’t life-threatening, it would be incredibly humiliating.
He recalled Sang Hong’s reminder, and the image of Shi Kun appeared in his mind. He sneered. You fled Brightmoon City rather quickly the last time, but watch how I deal with you this time.
With that, he summoned Blue Mallard and sent the dirty yellow liquid flying out at an even greater speed.
There were two people giggling behind the door. The fatty was obviously the crown prince, while the man next to him was much more handsome, a pretty boy from any angle, although his sinister gaze rather ruined his look. No matter how much it ruined his appearance, though, he was still much more pleasant to the eye than the big fatty next to him.
This man was none other than Shi Kun. He had almost imploded with anger when he found out that Zu An had been assigned as the crown prince’s secretary. What right did Zu An have to deserve such a post? He was nothing more than a scoundrel from the streets! Not only did he obtain the goddess that he himself had chased after for so long, he was now assigned as the crown prince’s secretary, a rank that equaled his own!
This bastard’s luck is unbelievable! It was then that he decided to arrange for this bucket of piss, in order to ruin his blasted luck.
The crown prince was stupid to begin with, and he loved this type of stuff the most, so it was easy enough to bring him on board.
However, he did not expect his target to react so quickly. After all, he had even arranged a wind element formation at the doorway. This pool of piss should have been something not even a sixth rank cultivator could avoid.
The crown prince’s mouth fell wide open as he stared at the yellow liquid flying at him. There was no way for him to avoid it on his own.
Shi Kun was well-placed to step in front of the crown prince, but that meant that he would be covered in the disgusting stuff instead. He had even made sure to acquire this piss from the smelliest and dirtiest eunuch! His eyelids twitched. He really didn’t want to be covered in this stuff.
He stepped away decisively to avoid the oncoming disaster. The crown prince was not so lucky. Even though a eunuch tried to step in to save him, he was still covered in the filth from head to toe.
After an initial moment of shock, the crown prince burst into tears. “Wah… Whose pee is this? Why does it smell so bad? I am definitely going to…” He cut off and vomited noisily on the floor.
Shi Kun’s eyelids twitched continuously. He was really glad that he hadn’t sacrificed himself for the crown prince. He might have been scarred for life.
Zu An froze as well. From the way the fatty was bawling, he knew that there was going to be a problem.
This damned fatty really is stupid! Even if you’re going to prank someone, you don’t have to stand right behind the door, right?
Shi Kun stepped forward. “Brazen!” He yelled. “You dare try to assassinate the crown prince? This is a great offense, punishable by the eradication of your entire clan!”
The eunuchs attending the prince echoed his accusations. After all, quite a few of them had been splattered with piss as well. Whose piss is this? Why the hell does it smell so bad?
The crown prince wanted to speak, but his mouth had been wide open earlier on, and he had swallowed a fair bit of the foul liquid. He immediately threw up as soon as he opened his mouth.
Zu An’s eyelids twitched, and he had to turn away. “It’s you again,” he said to Shi Kun instead. “You’re like a damned ghost that’s haunting me.”
Shi Kun snorted. “You can give up on any thoughts of bootlicking. You attacked the crown prince! No one can save you now.”
This was also why he hadn’t stepped in front of the crown prince earlier. He had been out to vent some of his anger by pranking Zu An, but he knew that if it backfired on the crown prince, it would result in an absolute disaster. This brat Zu An was dead for sure.
The commotion quickly drew the attention of a few guards, who ran over. They were stunned by the state of the room. What the heck is going on? Why is the crown prince’s study so filthy?
However, they quickly noted the crown prince’s condition, as well as the way Shi Kun was pointing at Zu An. All of them pointed their blades at Zu An, ready to arrest him.
“Wait!” Zu An pointed at Shi Kun. “You said that I tried to kill the crown prince. What did I use to do so?”
“Of course it’s…” Shi Kun was just about to point at the bucket of piss, but he cut himself off. Which assassin would use a bucket of piss to kill their target? Who would believe him? It was all his fault for trying to accuse Zu An of the worst crime possible. His first reaction had been to cast it as an assassination attempt.
Zu An immediately said, “It looks like you were just about to say this puddle of piss. Everyone knows that I wasn’t carrying anything with me when I entered the palace. All the guards along the way can confirm that. If it was my accomplice who prepared this bucket of piss, then his clan should also be eradicated as well, right?”
Shi Kun’s head began to throb. He was the one who had prepared this bucket of filth! Many individuals within the crown prince’s palace knew about this, so he couldn’t hide this fact even if he wanted to. How could he have predicted that his prank would backfire like this?
Zu An was an orphan, and had even been divorced from Chu Chuyan. He was alone, so it made no difference to him if his clan was eradicated to the ninth generation as a punishment. However, he was different! The Shi clan was a massive clan. If they were brought into this mess because of him, he would probably be skinned alive!
He could only change his wording and say, “Even if it wasn’t an assassination attempt, everyone saw you splash piss on the crown prince’s body. This is a great crime of disrespect, and ought to be punished!”
“Indeed…” the big fatty agreed immediately, in between bouts of retching. He was beyond disgusted by what had happened. There was no way he could remember the camaraderie he had shared with this man the day before.
Shi Kun burst out laughing. Now that he had the crown prince’s support, this fellow was dead for sure.
Again, Zu An was reminded of Sang Hong’s warning. This fellow had indeed inherited his father’s mercilessness and viciousness.
Thankfully, he had used this time to think of a way out. Using Blue Mallard, he drew out of the yellow liquid.
After all, piss was a form of water.
The crown prince had been entirely drenched, but in the blink of an eye, he was completely dry again. Even the disgusting taste in his mouth had disappeared.
A yellow sphere of disgusting liquid had gathered in front of him.
With a wave of Zu An’s hand, the ball flew straight at Shi Kun’s mouth.
Shi Kun had been laughing joyfully, so his mouth was wide open, and there was no way he could react in time. “Ugh… cough cough…” He doubled over, retching uncontrollably.
He clutched his own throat, trying to suppress his vomit, but he was too late. The disgusting smell filled his senses. He could no longer hold back, and threw up everything he had eaten the night before.
Zu An, you fucking bastard!!!!!
You have successfully trolled Shi Kun for 999… 999… 999…
Unfortunately, he couldn’t say anything right now. He was retching constantly and instinctively. Not only that, tears were pouring out of his eyes. Whose fucking piss is this? Why is the smell so strong?!
Zu An paid him no more attention. He used his skill ‘Befriend a Rich Man’ on the crown prince. A hundred thousand taels of silver vanished in an instant, but the crown prince now subconsciously thought of him as a friend.
“This is fun! This is fun!” The crown prince clapped his fat hands. “Big bro, you have to teach me how to do that!”
Zu An sighed in relief when he saw his warm and friendly expression. The last two uses of this skill hadn’t gone so well, because neither resulted in the desired outcome. He had even been subconsciously worried that he would be scammed this time as well. Fortunately, it had finally paid off. It seemed this skill wasn’t a complete scam after all.
Shi Kun was astounded. He had no idea why the crown prince would suddenly forgive Zu An. Wasn’t the crown prince rather petty and easily angered?
“Sure. However, crown prince, please do not call me big bro in the future. That does not conform with the rules.” Zu An was worried that others might use this against him in the future, so it was best if he stopped this from the get go.
The crown prince paid him no heed. “Oh, right. Not only this. You have to teach me how to be invulnerable as well.”
“Invulnerable?” Zu An was perplexed.
The crown prince pointed at Shi Kun. “He told me about it. He said that your cultivation was clearly rather low, but even though so many assassins had gone after you on your way to the capital, none of them could kill you. He said that it’s because you’re invulnerable to blades.”
Shi Kun had thrown up so much that he was almost throwing up his own bile. However, he was already at the sixth rank, which was high for a cultivator. He finally used his ki to expel the piss from within him. Carrying the bucket, he vomited again and again, almost filling it up.
When he heard the crown prince’s words, he chimed in right away. “Exactly! If the crown prince doesn’t believe me, then have him stand by the door and throw knives at him.”Previous Chapter Next Chapter