The fatty was elated. He ran over to the pond, his eyes darting left and right in excitement. He looked as happy as a child.
Zu An heard many people refer to the crown prince as ‘unsophisticated’. Back then, he always assumed that they were too embarrassed to call him an idiot, which was why they used a different word.
Now though, it was clear that the crown prince was indeed simple and unsophisticated.
If he had been born into any other ordinary clan, he might have been left to enjoy life as a wealthy heir. As part of the royal family, however, he was destined for a terrible end. He recalled the fate of an emperor from the Western Jin Dynasty, who was similar to this crown prince in front of him. In the end, the entire country rose up in rebellion.
Ordinarily, the most powerful cultivator in the world would be crowned emperor. The current emperor should have been well aware of this, yet he had insisted on creating such a dangerous situation out of his own selfish desires.
As Zu An’s mind was wandering, the fatty ran over to him, a big smile plastered on his face. Rippling waves jiggled his layers of fat as he ran.
“You really can speak to frogs! How did you do it? Teach me! From today onwards, you’ll be my big bro!” The big fatty tugged on his sleeves in adoration.
Zu An knew that he had this fatty in the bag. “I can teach it to you, but honestly, I’m pretty hungry right now, so I don’t think I can teach that well.”
Little Xu and Little He were completely gobsmacked. The crown prince had actually called this fellow big bro? The worst part was that this guy had agreed to it! He had no idea what the hell he was getting himself into!
“That’s not a problem! There are a lot of snacks here. Little Xu, Little He, quickly! Serve this…” The fatty froze for a moment. “Big bro, what’s your name?”
“I’m Zu An.” There was no need to hide this. Everyone inside the palace was going to know sooner or later.
“Oh. I’m Zhao Ruizhi.” The fatty flashed him a big smile, and waved him over to a nearby seat, which had originally been prepared for him. All sorts of fine refreshments and fruits were arrayed on the table in front of him. “Big bro, there’s nothing special about these things, but you can help yourself to some of it for now. I’ll have them prepare something good for you later on.”
The eunuchs were stupefied by the fawning smile on the crown prince’s face, and how he seemed to attach himself to this newcomer like a dog. They wanted to berate Zu An, but they were all too afraid to say anything, given the favor that the crown prince was showing him.
“You don’t have to go through all that trouble.” Zu An picked up a pastry and took a big bite out of it. Suddenly, he remembered that there were surely a host of people who envied this stupid crown prince. It would be terribly unlucky for him if someone had poisoned the food to get at the crown prince, but ended up poisoning him instead.
As such, he handed the pastry in his hand to the crown prince. “Here, you have some too.”
“Sure!” Zhao Ruizhi gave him a simple, honest smile. He took the pastry and threw it into his mouth.
The others couldn’t stop him in time, and all color drained from their faces. What if there was poison on this fellow’s hands? There was no way they would be allowed to live if something happened to the crown prince!
All of them stared at the crown prince with bated breath, anxious to see if anything went wrong.
Zhao Ruizhi picked up another pastry. “Big bro, you should keep eating. These taste pretty good.”
When he saw how quickly the food was disappearing, Zu An finally understood how this dude ended up becoming so fat.
Now, at least, he didn’t have to worry that the food had been tampered with. He picked up a pastry as well, and began to eat.
Zhao Ruizhi was stuffing his face with food, so his voice was slightly muffled. “By the way, how did you talk to the frogs? Hurry and teach me!”
“You need to imagine that you are one of them first. Then you have to let go of your thoughts. It’s not enough to only use your mouth to communicate with them.” Zu An filled his head with a load of bullshit. The only reason why he could communicate with the frogs was because of the jade badge that the Eastern Barbarian girl had gifted him while in the Yinxu dungeon. That object allowed him to communicate with life forms of lower intelligence.
Hm? His expression suddenly changed. He wondered if he could use it to control this dumb crown prince. After all, he didn’t seem to be that intelligent himself.
Zhao Ruizhi seemed to have gained the world’s most important treasure. He quickly lost his appetite, and scampered over to the pond to play with the frogs.
As he ran over, he suddenly squatted down and let out a croak.
The frogs replied with croaks of their own. Zhao Ruizhi was immediately excited. “Big bro, big bro! I’ve learned how to talk to them as well!”
Zu An had a strange look on his face. “What did you say to them?” He hadn’t had the time to force the frogs’ cooperation yet.
Zhao Ruizhi replied, “I asked them if they’ve eaten yet.”
“Did they reply?” Zu An asked, the same strange look on his face.
“They did! They said that they have!” Zhao Ruizhi said without a hint of hesitation.
Zu An was again left dumbstruck.
What the heck. Saves me the effort, I guess.
This fella is actually too smart for his own good.
The eunuchs attending him were stunned. If they had known that it was this easy to con the crown prince, they would never have stooped to jumping around naked like frogs earlier on.
Of course, they also knew that there was no way they could have made the frogs greet the crown prince like Zu An did, so the crown prince would not have believed them at all.
Zhao Ruizhi ran back over to Zu An’s side after playing with the frogs for a bit. “Big bro, since you’re so awesome, I have something else I want to ask you.”
“Ask me anything.” Zu An replied nonchalantly, peeling a banana.
The eunuchs’ eyes went wide. He was being way too laid back! What brazen behavior!
Zu An could tell their thoughts from the incoming Rage points. However, he wasn’t intentionally courting disaster. To him, when dealing with an oddball like the crown prince, it just didn’t seem right to play his cards the same way he usually did.
It seemed much easier to gain the crown prince’s favor by putting on a smug and cocky attitude.
Zhao Ruizhi chuckled. He glanced at the eunuchs, a hint of embarrassment in his expression. He shuffled closer to Zu An and said in a hushed tone, “So… there’s someone I want to mess with, maybe make her smell my fart or something, but she’s way too smart. She always manages to avoid my pranks. Do you have any ideas?”
Zu An almost spat out a mouthful of fruit.
I’m in the middle of my meal! Why would you say something so disgusting to my face?
However, from the fatty’s pure and hopeful expression, it seemed like he was being serious. He chuckled. This fellow really was childlike. All he wanted was to prank his friends.
“That’s easy enough,” he replied casually “Next time, when you are about to fart, say to your friends: ‘It smells like something’s burning’. This will cause them to subconsciously sharpen their sense of smell, to see if they too can detect this burnt smell. Of course, that will just make them breathe in your entire fart.”
The eunuchs were extremely shocked. How could a human come up with such a ploy? It’s way too evil!
Zhao Ruizhi’s elation grew. “Big bro is really powerful! I’ll definitely be able to prank her this time!”
Zu An was surprised by his remark.“Who are you trying to prank?”
“My wife,” replied Zhao Ruizhi. “She’s always making fun of me for being stupid, so I wanted to mess with her for once.”
Zu An was speechless.
He’s talking about the bloody crown princess! What the hell am I supposed to say now? You actually want to make your wife smell your fart?
“Were you trying to prank me?” said a cold voice from behind them.
Zhao Ruizhi shuddered. His body trembled like that of a frightened quail.
Zu An turned around curiously, and his eyes lit up on their own.
A beautiful woman was walking slowly towards the two of them. Her shoulders were perfectly sculpted, and her waistline was so thin that it seemed to have been bound. Her neck was long and graceful, like a swan’s, and her skin was fair and smooth. She was dressed in a dazzling and luxurious palatial outfit, the two ribbons fluttering behind her somehow making her waist look even more slim and enchanting.
There was a red beauty mark in the center of her forehead. Her hair was done up meticulously, decorated by an exquisite lotus flower woven out of thread. Several delicate hairpins held up both sides of her hair, which was crowned with a shining golden ornament. Noble grandeur flowed from her naturally.
At the moment, her enchanting and dignified eyes were fixed coldly on Zu An.Previous Chapter Next Chapter