Chapter 18: I Don’t Believe It Unless You Write It Down

Chapter 18: I Don’t Believe It Unless You Write It Down

Zu An smiled sheepishly as he said, “Bro, you can’t blame me for that.”

“Screw you!” A stream of blood spurted forth from between Plum Blossom Twelve’s legs before he blacked out once again.

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +999 Rage!

Seeing how it was only 999 Rage points despite the current turn of events, Zu An figured that this must be a hard cap to the amount of Rage points he could gather in a single sitting.

Awoooo~

From afar, the howling of a wild beast could be heard. Zu An quickly hid by the corner and looked at the valley far ahead of him. There were some gray shadows moving about. Most likely, they were the legendary Assrip Wolves.

Thinking about the goal he had intended to achieve here, an idea suddenly came to his mind.

When Plum Blossom Twelve woke up once more, he found that he was no longer tied onto a tree, and delight sprouted from his heart. Was it actually all a dream?

He lowered his head to take a look.

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +233 Rage!

Zu An was starting to feel a little bad. At this rate, he felt that Plum Blossom Twelve would first bald from stress before even reaching his forties. “Don’t get too agitated. I helped you wrap up your wounds earlier. If it were to open up once more, even the deity wouldn’t be able to save you anymore!”

Plum Blossom Twelve heard a voice coming from above him, and he looked upward. It was then that he noticed that he was currently at the bottom of a slope, and Zu An was squatting by the edge of the slope, looking down on him. He suddenly felt yet another gush of rage rushing up to his head as he bellowed, “You piece of shit! I’ll kill you!”

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +333 Rage!

As he spoke, he began dashing up the slope. A sudden surge of pain coming from between his legs caused his eyes to redden. However, just as he was about to reach the top of the slope, a sudden kick sent him tumbling down once more.

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +28 Rage!

“How can this be!” Plum Blossom Twelve was shocked. He thought that he had only lost previously due to being caught off guard, but to think that he would be overpowered in a direct encounter too. Could Zu An’s cultivation really be higher than him?

“I advise you to save up your strength. Otherwise, you won’t have any energy to deal with the Assrip Wolves later on,” Zu An reminded.

“What do you mean?” Plum Blossom Twelve was horrified. He suddenly heard low growls sounding from all around him. Following that, several Assrip Wolves caught the scent of blood and began gathering around him. It was then that he realized that he was in the midst of the Wolf Valley.

“Fuckkkkkk!”

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +367 Rage!

The first thought that came to Plum Blossom Twelve’s mind was to run up the slope. One must know that even though the Assrip Wolves were only in the second rank, there were over six of them right before him at this very moment. He wouldn’t dare to provoke them even when he was in his peak condition, let alone the fact that he was severely injured now.

Yet, who could have thought that Zu An was towering above him like an obstacle, adamantly blocking his path. “Don’t waste your strength. However, if you help me gather 10 goubaos, I’ll pull you up.”

Zu An finally got a look at the feared Assrip Wolves. They had black fur with white stripes on their back, though the fur around their stomach was yellowish-brown in color. Their ears were long and sharp. In terms of physique, they looked quite similar to the wolves in his previous life, but their size was comparable to that of a spotted hyena.

“You bastard! You said that you’ll let me off if I answered your questions earlier!” Plum Blossom Twelve gritted his teeth in fury.

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +100 Rage!

“I only said that I’ll consider it,” Zu An replied indignantly.

“How long more do you need to consider it?!” Plum Blossom Twelve no longer dared to turn his head around to look at Zu An anymore, fixing his eyes on the approaching Assrip Wolves instead. He knew better than to turn his back against a wild beast, or else he would be torn apart in the next instant.

Zu An replied, “I have already finished considering. I feel that it’s too much of a pity to kill you right away, so I decided to squeeze dry whatever value you have left.” He had never seen the Assrip Wolves before, so he didn’t know how powerful they were. Thus, it was best to have Plum Blossom Twelve try them out first.

Plum Blossom Twelve: “…”

What sins did I commit in my previous life to encounter such a shameless fellow?

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +666 Rage!

Zu An looked at the Rage he had accumulated in the system, and he felt truly impressed. This was much more than what he had earned from Chu Huanzhao back then.

“Life is very precious. Even if you have lost your treasure, there are still other joys in life that you can indulge in. Not everything has to be about sex.” Zu An consoled Plum Blossom Twelve, hoping to give him some motivation. Otherwise, it would be troublesome for him if the latter gave up hope and chose to surrender without putting up a fight. “How about this? As long as you can obtain a single goubao, I’ll save you right away!”

Those words moved Plum Blossom Twelve, but he couldn’t help but think of how Zu An had reneged on his previous promise too.

“I don’t believe it. Unless you write me a contract.”

He looked so pitiful that it looked like he was going to cry anytime soon.

“Where the hell am I going to find you paper?” Zu An grumbled. “How about this instead? If I go against my words, for a month, I shall… Gah, that’s not right. For three days, I won’t be able to raise it up!”

Zu An felt that since he was already suffering from such an illness, there was no harm in making such a promise. No matter how formidable Divine Physician Ji was, there is no way he could cure me in just a few days’ time anyway… Aiyo, why do I feel like crying all of a sudden?

Plum Blossom Twelve was overjoyed. One must know that the vows and contracts made in this world carried binding power, or else one would face the retribution of the world. Since Zu An dared to make such a promise, it did show that he was sincere about this. It was just that the duration was a little… 

“No, that won’t do. You must swear that your thing won’t be able to raise up for an entire lifetime!”

Zu An flew into a state of rage. “Screw you! Think about just how beautiful my wife is! Isn’t three days of being unable to touch her bad enough already? The most I’ll go is seven days. No more haggling!”

Plum Blossom Twelve thought that Zu An’s argument was extremely convincing. If he had a wife as beautiful as the First Miss of the Chu clan, he wouldn’t even want to get off his bed anymore. It was already a vile curse for Zu An to be unable to rise up for seven days.

Of course, the only reason why Plum Blossom Twelve thought this way was due to him not knowing that Zu An was forbidden from even entering the room of the First Miss.

“Alright, it’s a deal then!”

Plum Blossom Twelve pulled himself back together as fighting spirit reignited in his eyes. If it was just retrieving a single goubao, it was not utterly hopeless for him. Once he got back into the city, he would have his godfather and his twelve other godbrothers exact vengeance for him. No matter what, he was determined to turn this repugnant fellow into minced meat!

There were no kind-hearted souls amongst the Thirteen Guardians of Plum Blossom. Those who could climb up to this position were vicious and tenacious individuals. Plum Blossom Twelve tore the fabric around his sleeves to tie it around the wound at his crotch as viciousness flashed across his eyes.

Meanwhile, the Assrip Wolves lost their patience and began their assault. Three of them charged at him from the front while the other three took a detour to assault him from his back.

Watching this scene, Zu An felt a chill in his heart. The Assrip Wolves were much more agile than he had thought. Furthermore, their hides were fairly thick too. No matter what, Plum Blossom Twelve was still at the third step of the second rank, wielding enough power to shatter a normal tree with a single punch. Yet, these wolves simply let out a howl of pain before shrugging it off as if nothing had happened at all.

“Damn it! I’m collecting goubaos for you, so can’t you at least give my dagger back to me?” After knocking an Assrip Wolf flying with a punch, Plum Blossom Twelve had to immediately turn around to protect his rear. He had to take note of so many enemies at once that he looked incredibly flustered.

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +187 Rage!

“Catch it!” Zu An shouted as he threw the dagger down. He wasn’t really afraid of Plum Blossom Twelve suddenly charging up with the knife since the latter was currently encircled by 6 Assrip Wolves. It was impossible for him to shake them off and escape up the slope.

Plum Blossom Twelve had to go through a lot of bloodshed and battles in order to climb to the position of the Thirteen Guardians. His moves weren’t particularly profound, but every single one of them was practical in battle.

While protecting his vitals, he took on some minor injuries in exchange for opportunities to deal heavy blows on the Assrip Wolves.

“Ah, so the weakness of the Assrip Wolves is their waist.” There were many chances that Plum Blossom Twelve could have decapitated the Assrip Wolves, but he chose not to do it. Instead, he kept looking for opportunities to plunge his dagger into their waist. 

These Assrip Wolves didn’t appear to be too smart. With their combined strength, they could have easily curbed Plum Blossom Twelve if they had charged at him all at once. However, their instincts compelled them to circle behind Plum Blossom Twelve to rip his ass.

Plum Blossom Twelve exploited this instinct of them to the fullest and successfully killed all six of them despite his severe injuries. However, he wasn’t in a good state either. He was filled with wounds bitten by the Assrip Wolves, such that he didn’t even have the strength to stand up at all. He simply sat on the floor while gasping for air.

“Hurry up and pull me up!” Plum Blossom Twelve exclaimed. One of the Assrip Wolves had let out of howl right before its death. It was clearly calling out of its companions to summon them here. It wouldn’t be long before more Assrip Wolves rushed over to the scene.

“You haven’t fulfilled our promise. Where’s my goubao?” Zu An squatted leisurely at the top as he asked.

“Screw you!”

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +78 Rage!

Plum Blossom Twelve bellowed in fury. However, he dared not to waste any time. He quickly dissected the stomachs of the 6 Assrip Wolves. The overwhelming stench pouring out gagged him, but he bore with the odor and flipped through their stomachs.

While fumbling around, he felt a hard, elliptical object, and his face lit up in joy. “Hahaha, I found it! I found it!”

Awoooo~

However, the overpowering blood stench was like a lighthouse to the rest of the Assrip Wolves, attracting them over. This time, there was a wolf that was visibly larger than the others standing at the forefront, making it clear that it was the leader of the pack.

“Hurry up and pull me up!” Plum Blossom Twelve exclaimed in a panic.

However, Zu An was in no hurry. He took his time pondering for a moment before ordering, “Throw the goubao up first.”

“That won’t do. What if you renege on your promise after I throw it up?” Plum Blossom Twelve was no fool either, so he wasn’t willing to heed Zu An’s demand.

Zu An said, “Are you questioning my character here? Didn’t I make a vow earlier? Hurry up and throw it up. If you continue dilly-dallying, the other Assrip Wolves will be here before you know it.”

From Zu An’s vantage point, he could see Assrip Wolves dashing over, and it was likely that they would arrive in less than a minute’s time. Left with no choice, Plum Blossom Twelve could only toss the goubao up first.

“Quick, pull me up!”

After keeping the goubao into his bag, he slowly grabbed the rope which he had used to tie Plum Blossom Twelve earlier on and tossed it down. “Grab it.”

Plum Blossom Twelve tried grabbing the rope, only to find that it was several meters away from the ground. He couldn’t reach it even if he jumped up. This left him both frightened and infuriated. “You are toying with me?”

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +144 Rage!

“Ah!” Zu An exclaimed in astonishment. “How am I to know that the rope is only this long? You should have prepared a longer rope in case a situation like this occurs!”

Plum Blossom Twelve was on the verge of losing his mind from anger. “Can’t you just come down a little?”

You have successfully trolled Plum Blossom Twelve for +500 Rage!

Zu An shook his head vehemently. “I can’t. I’m afraid of those Assrip Wolves. What if I slip down?”

After all that was said and done, it was clear as day to Plum Blossom Twelve that Zu An had no intention of saving him. “You swore on it! Do you know the consequences of breaking your promises?”

Zu An shrugged nonchalantly. “I only vowed to save you, but I didn’t say that I’ll successfully save you. I already did my part. You’re the one who can’t reach the rope, and you’re blaming me for it?”

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