Chapter 448: Strange Cuisine
“Bathing Beauty?”
Chu Nianjiu stared wide-eyed at the strange dish named “Bathing Beauty”, blurting, “But where’s the beauty?”
Bathing Beauty was a sticky, milky white soup that looked suspiciously like snot. It was filled with clumps of black hair. No one could understand why it was called Bathing Beauty when it should rightfully be called Snot and Hair.
“This soup is made from the honey of the Cotton Rose Flower and the roots of the Beauty Grass. It can invigorate the mind and strengthen the foundation.”
The waiter was completely unperturbed by their reactions. It was clear that he was used to such a scene. “Since the honey is the water, and the grass is the beauty, there is nothing wrong with naming it the Bathing Beauty, is there?”
The Cotton Rose Flower was a Red-class Stranger whose honey tasted surprisingly delicious and refreshing despite its viscosity. However, it couldn’t be eaten raw because it was poisonous. The Beauty Grass was a Malice-class Stranger with grass that looked as lithe as a beauty, and roots that resembled a woman’s fine hair. That was why it was named the Beauty Grass. Just like the honey of the Cotton Rose Flower, its roots were highly poisonous.
Few people at this table thought it was possible to neutralize the ingredients’ poison and turn it into food, but Food Is Heaven clearly proved them wrong.
“Okay. What about this simmer-fried koi?” Chu Nianjiu looked at the fish next.
The koi was a real koi, and it was definitely simmer-fried—he could tell just by inhaling its unique, delicious aroma—but why oh why was the fish flailing its body back and forth like it was alive? Scratch that, it was alive!
The waiter explained patiently, “This simmer-fried koi was cooked using a River Climbing Koi. A River Climbing Koi is an exceptionally vigorous koi that can survive being burned by fire or boiled inside a pot of oil. That is why we decided to simmer fry it via a certain method. This way, it will be the freshest fish you ever tasted even though its flesh is fully cooked.”
“He’s right. The simmer-fried koi is one of the signature dishes of Food Is Heaven. I would seriously urge you all to give it a taste,” Gao Ningan echoed in agreement.
Gao Ningan was a local, and he frequented Food Is Heaven almost every first and fifteenth of each month to enjoy a fulfilling meal.
I understand the logic, but don’t you think this too cruel a way to die even for a Stranger? Chu Nianjiu couldn’t help but think.
“What about this Blooming Wealth?” Lin Yuhuai pointed at the next dish.
Blooming Wealth sounded like a fantastic, wealthy dish, but once again, its appearance sent chills up everyone’s spine. The dish was a humanoid head—it wasn’t an actual human’s head, of course. That would be illegal to say the least—with its skull removed to expose its fleshy white brains. Blooming flowers could be seen floating on the brain fluid.
Despite its horrifying appearance, the aroma it gave off was thick and delicious. Their stomachs growled involuntarily even though their minds were reeling from the horrific scene.
This time, Gao Ningan took over the explanation, “This is yet another signature dish in Food Is Heaven. This is the head of the Wealth Monkey, and the flowers floating around its brains are called the Brain Flowers. That is why it’s called the Blooming Wealth.”
“First, the skull of the Wealth Monkey is removed. Then, the seeds of the Brain Flower are planted inside its brain. The Brain Flower got its name because it grows on brains, not soil. Throughout the process, it would release enough heat to cook the brain completely and produce a rich aroma.”
“This cooking method requires no seasoning whatsoever. The brain would retain most of its original flavor, and the Brain Flowers would neutralize any unsavory taste and add a sweet scent to the dish. Superbly rich in flavor, aroma, and appearance, it is as rare as it is precious. You simply must try it out.”
Gao Ningan licked his lips greedily after he finished his explanation, unaware that his friends were looking at him like he was insane. If the guy thought that his explanation would improve their impression of the dish, then he couldn’t be any more wrong!
The worst part was his claims that the dish was “superbly rich in flavor, aroma and appearance”. Maybe they could agree with the flavor and aroma part, but appearance? It looked just like a human head! What the hell was he talking about?
“This is the Everlaughing Mushroom, right?” Ye Qing removed his gaze from the horrifying-looking dish and looked at the plate set next to it. “Is that why the dish is called Everlaughing?”
Shaped like a human smile, the Everlaughing Mushroom was highly poisonous. Ingesting it would induce an unstoppable laughter that will only cease when the victim has perished. Hence the name.
The waiter immediately paid him a compliment, “You’re quite the knowledgeable one, aren’t you customer? That’s right. This dish is based on the Everlaughing Mushroom.”
“Okay… but what about the maggots?” Ye Qing asked with barely concealed disgust. He could handle mushrooms, but why the flying fuck were there maggots in his mushrooms?
The waiter explained smilingly, “If you know of the Everlaughing Mushroom, then you must know that it is highly poisonous. Ingesting directly is akin to committing suicide.”
“These maggots are known as the Poison Eating Maggots. As its name imply, they are maggots that feed on toxins and the like. This removes all of the poison in the Everlaughing Mushrooms and make them edible.”
Lin Yuhuai tried to hold it in, he really did. But in the end, he couldn’t help but ask, “But why didn’t you remove the maggots afterward?”
Was Food Is Heaven trying to kill their customer’s appetite? If so, they were certainly succeeding.
The waiter continued to smile. “Ah, I understand your confusion. You see, the Poison Eating Maggots themselves are a top-class delicacy. The Poison Eating Maggot can consume and neutralize the poison it eats. That is why it is perfectly safe to eat. In fact, the stronger the poison it consumes, the tastier its flesh becomes. A lot of people enjoy it.”
Lin Yuhuai was normally a refined man, but he couldn’t help but think to himself: And where are these people, exactly? I dare you to point out a single person who enjoys eating maggots!
As if on cue, Gao Ningan spoke up, “The waiter is right, you know. The Poison Eating Maggot is exceptionally delicious. Despite its appearance, it is absolutely worth a taste.”
Lin Yuhuai rolled his eyes at him. Ah. Damn. Is it too late to cut ties with him?
The waiter continued, “If you’re wondering where we source our Poison Eating Maggots, then you have nothing to worry about. We raise our own Poison Eating Maggots in specialized farms. We swear on our honor that they are absolutely clean and safe for consumption.”
You say that, but it’s still a maggot, bro! The same thought crossed everyone’s mind at the same time. Who would eat maggots if they could help it? Not counting Gao Ningan, of course.
“Enough about the maggots. Let’s talk about this Where Goes The Soul. You’re sure my soul won’t depart for the heavens after I drink it?” Ye Qing said sarcastically as he set his gaze on the final dish.
The previous four dishes looked horrendous, but at least they smelled delicious. But Where Goes The Soul? It looked and smelled like something the imps of hell used to torture its sinners.
Where Goes The Soul was a soup, but it was pitch black in color and covered in smelly yellow oil stains, toads, centipedes, spiders and more stuff that did not belong on the dining table. It was also bubbling like a fire was lit under its arse. Every time a bubble popped, a ghastly scream would pierce the ears, and a rotten, disgusting stench would permeate the air.
Forget drinking it, the mere sight of it made Ye Qing feel dead on the inside. If this was what Food Is Heaven meant when they named the dish Where Goes The Soul, then they sure as hell succeeded.
Personally, he would name it Drink And Die.
This wasn’t the worst part, however. The worst part was that Where Goes The Soul was the strange dish he heard could accelerate his recovery. For the past few days, he and his friends heard that Food Is Heaven had launched a new strange dish that could eliminate filth, strengthen the foundation, and restore a damaged mind. It was apparently so effective that it was sold out everyday. That was why he decided to give it a try.
Now, Ye Qing regretted everything. If he could turn back time, he would sooner kill Gao Ningan before he agreed to this venture.
“You jest, customer.” The waiter took the barb like it was nothing. “Where Goes The Soul is the signature dish of our new strange chef. The main ingredients are the Gilded Toad of Fortune, Bluewood Centipede, Blue Jade Scorpion, Fiery Snake of Red Ribbons and the Coarse Earth Stone Spider, and the auxiliary ingredient is the dew of the Resentful Woman Flower.”
“Each one of the five Strangers belongs to one element of the Five Poisons and the Five Phases, and they are cooked based on the fact that the elements both give birth and destroy each other. The Civil Martial Flame is used to remove all the poison and leave behind only the essence. The soup can purify the filth in one’s body, restore one’s mental damage, and strengthen the foundation. It is absolutely one of the most outstanding strange dishes we offer.”
“This is not a boast, customer, but Where Goes The Soul is sold out everyday since the day we launched it. Moreover, everyone who ever drank it all wept tears of joy.”
“Har har…” Ye Qing deadpanned. Tears of joy? Are you sure they’re not tears of misery?
“Joyless, the entire reason we’re here is for this Where Goes The Soul, and it costs a thousand silver per dish. You better not waste it,” Chu Nianjiu said with an evil smirk.
“I understand your feelings, Joyless, I truly do. But this dish might be beneficial to your recovery. It would be remiss to waste it,” Lin Yuhuai also advised.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of, Joyless. Who knows, maybe this dish smells bad but tastes incredible just like stinky tofu?” Gao Ningan chuckled.
“Really?” Ye Qing asked doubtfully while watching the bubbling bowl of soup.
The waiter said smilingly, “Don’t worry, customer. Food Is Heaven only serves world class strange cuisine. Of course, a small number of our dishes have a unique taste, but we guarantee that you won’t die from it, so just relax and enjoy.”
“So, your bottom line is that I won’t die? That doesn’t assure me at all!” Ye Qing rubbed his nose furiously.
“Anyway, I’ve dilly-dallied long enough. If there’s nothing else, then I shall return to my duties.” The waiter left after saying that.
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