Chapter 5 - So, What’s for Dinner?

After his second double kill, Lin Feng’s KDA was now 5/3/2. Any advantage the red team’s bottom lane duo had from the start of the game was completely neutralized. Lin Feng smashed that snowball before it could turn into an avalanche. And since he was such an overachiever, he didn’t just stop there. He’d also managed to get full control of bottom lane.

The cool thing about what Lin Feng had done was that Caitlyn would normally abuse her long attack range to get an early game advantage and snowball that through into the late game. That’s exactly what this Caitlyn was doing while Su Xue was playing. But this game was the story of how the Caitlyn’s life got flip turned upside down. While Su Xue was playing, Caitlyn was just chillin’ in lane, shooting some minions and farming up kills. Then Lin Feng started playing and a Vayne who was up to no good started making trouble in her neighborhood. Caitlyn got in one little fight and the next thing she knew, she’d been killed four times. Her entire lead was lost to Lin Feng’s Vayne in a matter of minutes, her KDA now 2/4/1. Vayne quickly surpassed her in items. 

Lin Feng had managed to build out The Blade of the Ruined King, which clearly put his Vayne ahead. But after he’d gotten his 5th kill he used the gold to build out a Statikk Shiv. Having two fully built out items allowed him to completely dominate the lane.

By the time the first teamfight at the dragon pit broke out, Lin Feng’s summoner spells were back off cooldown, giving him even more tools to work with. He grasped the opportunity to cut through to the enemy’s back line and let loose.

Triple kill!

The triple kill announcement was too much for Su Xue. She was now jealous. Absolutely jealous. In all her time playing League of Legends, she’d gotten a couple of double kills. It was one of those rare things that happened every dozen games or so when everything just happened to line up perfectly for her. But a triple kill? She’d never gotten a triple kill in a game! She’d never heard the game announce a triple kill for her! She went to the bathroom for a couple of minutes, and this random kid who moved in with her suddenly managed to get two double kills and a triple kill. It was too much!

Su Xue watched the kid sitting next to her playing the game instead of watching the game. He made it look so easy. Natural. Playing league, getting double kills, all of that was so simple for him. Like breathing. Or walking. She wondered why she couldn’t play like that. Vayne wasn’t even a mechanically challenging champion to play, not like Riven. She didn’t need hours of practice to master Vayne. So why did Vayne seem like a killing machine in the hands of this kid, steamrolling through the enemy team like it was nothing? She couldn’t figure it out.

Once the game hit the 20-minute mark, the red team unanimously voted to surrender. One of the rules of League of Legends was that a surrender vote could not be initiated before 20 minutes into the game. From how quickly the red team decided to end the game, it looked like they were just waiting for it. Lin Feng was just too scary of a player for all five of them to deal with. It also looked like the stomping that Lin Feng gave their bottom lane duo completely broke their team cohesion. Salty comments from the other three players on the red team started popping up on general in-game chat. 

GG! our bot lane could’ve solved world hunger with their feeding

Lin Feng looked at Su Xue and said, “I made that same joke about you when the game started! You remember that? Looks like this game hasn’t changed all that much. Old jokes are the best ones, right?” If there was ever a glare that could stop a heart, it was the one that Su Xue was giving Lin Feng right now. 

Whatever the rest of the players on the red team in this game thought, the Thresh and Caitlyn honestly could not be blamed for what happened. No one could be reasonably expected to think that a Vayne who was losing 0/3/2 to them would pull a sudden 180 and pop off. If Lin Feng hadn’t started playing, then they probably would have won this game. But if Lin Feng didn’t play, there would be no reason to read this novel. Lin Feng is the main character, and this story follows him. Obviously he had to take over. The real question here, the one that everyone should have been thinking about, is far more profound. Did Su Xue really have to go to the washroom? Or was that merely just a convenient plot device that allowed for Lin Feng to take over? Just food for thought. 

All profound thoughts, expectations, mild regrets and missed opportunities aside, most people playing League would think that there was no point continuing a game with a Vayne who was 11/3/2 and grabbing double kills on triple kills 20 minutes into the game. 

This ranked match was an easy win for the blue team. An easy win for Lin Feng. In the end-game lobby, the players on blue team showered Lin Feng, who was playing on the Evening Snowfall account, with praise and honored him. The player who was playing Janna, his support in the bottom lane duo, even added him as a friend and asked him if he wanted to duo queue together. Probably someone who was looking to main the support role and wanted a good ad-carry to play with. Or maybe there was something more. It's always been understood that duo queue in League held all the promise and spark of potential dual cultivation IRL. 

The random strangers that Lin Feng was playing with on blue team weren’t the only ones losing their minds. The people watching the stream were just as hyped. The chat exploded as 70-something people lost their shit. 

again again again again」 

You’re amazing, lil bro! Are you diamond? 

Who knew we’d see a pro in action! I’m a gold noob, but please add me!

queue up! Gogogogoog!

Even Su Xue was caught up in the excitement. “Quick, quick, start another game! That one ended too quickly!” She’d completely forgotten she was supposed to be the streamer here. Watching Lin Feng’s Vayne was simply that entertaining. She was at the edge of her seat the whole time. And at the end, during that last team fight? She wanted to jump up and applaud when he single handedly won that last team fight. But she managed to hold herself down. 

Lin Feng scratched his hair, “Don’t you, uh, want to play now? It is your stream and, hm… your account, ya know?”

“U-uh, huh?” Su Xue muttered in a daze, recalling that fact as well. A hint of red spanned across her cheeks. Right! This is my stream! How could I let this kid take over so easily? I even told him to play some more! What is wrong with me? This is so embarrassing! But she really did want to see Lin Feng play again. That desire burned so bright that she couldn’t lie to herself about it. The gears in her mindhole started grinding, and she quickly came up with a plan that would get her everything she wanted. Salve the sting to her ego while still letting her watch Lin Feng. “You only started playing half-way into this last game. And then I was in the washroom. By the time I got back, there wasn’t much of the game left to see before it ended. Did I really get to see those skills you were going on about Mr. Challenger? I don’t think so! Play a full game this time!”

“Hm. I, uh… Wait. Why do you want to see my skills?” Lin Feng asked. Su Xue got real intense out of nowhere, and he didn’t understand what was happening. 

“Uhhh…” Su Xue choked. She struggled to find an answer, she couldn’t explain how much her soul burned when she watched him play. She didn’t want to. Time was running out. She had nothing to say. She had to say something. Not enough time. He’d know something was up if she just stayed quiet for too long. The stream was still on too. How long had it been? Was it a minute? The silence was crushing down on her, she had to say something. “IF I TELL YOU TO PLAY, YOU PLAY! There is no why! Don’t question me!”

Lin Feng nodded. Then he scratched the back of his head and cautiously asked, “Okay, okay. I have a question. Not questioning you. Just a question, okay? I play another match. I’ll play. But if I do, what’s in it for me?”

Su Xue was still worked up from yelling at him to play so she replied without thinking, “What’s in it for you? What do you want?” Wait, wait, wait! NO! That was the wrong thing to say! Oh-please-god-no! He’s in high school and I’m a beautiful young woman! In the prime of my youth and the height of my beauty. He probably thinks he has a shot here. Omg! He’s probably thinking ‘kami-sama arigatooo’ in his head right now. I’m not that kind of girl or streamer! Need to put a stop to this right now. She paused while this monologue continued in her head and then she said, “Alright, How about this. Play another match. If you carry that hard again, I’ll make dinner for you tonight! I’m a really good cook. Stir-fried tomatoes, scrambled eggs, kung pao chicken, red-braised carp… my cooking will knock the socks off your tastebuds!” Safe. Good thing I can cook and came up with that. Who knows where this could have gone? 

“Really?” Lin Feng started to drool.

Su Xue proudly declared, “Listen here, I’ve never met anyone who can match me in the kitchen!”

“Deal!” Lin Feng agreed without hesitation.

The people watching the stream also caught this entire exchange on the webcam feed. They had their own input to add in.

Hey, miss streamer! Make us some red braised carp and kung pao chicken too!

i also want stir fried eggplants!

do you do takeout?

she can cook! bonus waifu points!

When is your next cooking stream?

Oh, now I’m the streamer again, huh? You shameless bastards! Su Xue couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Hmph! A lady like myself doesn’t just cook for anyone and everyone. Definitely not for you NEETs! Just because you guys want to sit there imagining what it would be like to have me as a wife doesn’t mean I’m going to go out of my way to make it easier for you! 

Before long, Lin Feng entered champion select. While they waited for the ban phase to end, there was something Su Xue was curious about. “Hey, what role do you main? Ad-carry?” 

Lin Feng shook his head. “Nah, I main mid.” But when it was his turn to pick a champion, Lin Feng locked in Jarvan IV and picked Flash and Smite as summoner spells. Jarvan IV was a champion built to play the Jungle role, and picking Smite was confirmation that Lin Feng intended to be the Jungler for his team this game. Smite only dealt damage to jungle monsters and was useless against enemy champions. The summoner spell was designed for the Jungle role.

“Hey! You just said you’re a mid main!” Su Xue yelled out while pointing at the screen. 

Lin Feng rubbed his nose and confidently smiled, “Oh, I’m a pretty good jungler too!”

Most of Su Xue, like 97% of her, thought that Lin Feng was trying to show off now. The praise from his team in the last game, all the people watching the stream, and the exquisitely beautiful, fully bloomed woman sitting next to him was too much for him to handle. His head had exploded. But 3% of her thought there might be something more to it. Something that would blow her mind, rock her world. 

Lin Feng was blissfully unaware that she thought he was showing off and was just confident that he could hard carry the game as the jungler. 

Welcome to Summoner’s Rift!

The game had started. By the time the game hit the three minute mark, Lin Feng had already cleared all of the jungle monsters on his side of the Rift and gotten both the Blue Buff and the Red Buff. It was time to start whacking the red team around. He decided to go in for a gank at top lane first. The Riven saw him coming and engaged the red team’s top lane champion Olaf. Lin Feng jumped in with his Jarvan IV...

First Blood!

After that smooth first kill, Lin Feng waited until the five-minute mark to go gank mid lane. The red team’s midlane champion Syndra was wary that he might show up. When his Jarvan IV popped out of the top-side river brush, she reacted instantly. The Syndra started retreating towards the safety of her tower while conjuring a Dark Sphere and sending it flying towards him with Scatter the Weak. That would stun Lin Feng’s Jarvan IV and allow her to escape. She was quick. But not quick enough. 

Jarvan IV had already thrown down a Demacian Standard and started flying towards it. Then, Lin Feng pressed D for Flash. Jarvan IV disappeared mid-animation as he travelled toward Syndra and appeared right over her. Even though her Scatter the Weak had managed to stun him, he still succeeded in knocking her up.

Lin Feng’s teammate in midlane was Yasuo. A unique champion who specialized in combination attacks. Yasuo’s ultimate could only be used on enemy champions who were knocked up. Which is just what Lin Feng’s Jarvan IV had done to Syndra. Yasuo reacted to the knockup in time and activated his ultimate, jumping up onto the knocked-up Syndra in the air and slashing down with his katana. Another quick and easy kill.

Su Xue was dumbstruck.

The viewers on the stream also reacted with amazement.

holy dammmnnnn!!! that comboooo!!!!!」 

that’s some skill bro

WOW So smooth! Lil bro, that was cool as hell!

As the rest of the game played out, Lin Feng basically became the king of the jungle. He made plays left and right and carried his team to an easy victory.

At 25 minutes into the game, Lin Feng was 8/0/11. A perfect KDA! One that showcased exactly how perfect his jungling was. Lin Feng hard-carried all three lanes on his back and set the tempo of the entire game like a conductor in front of an orchestra! And he did it all in 25 minutes!

Lin Feng had helped Su Xue’s account score another ranked win. This time around, Su Xue was finally convinced. T-this kid… is really good! No, he’s freaking amazing!

Lin Feng more or less satisfied his itch to play and handed back the position of stream host to Su Xue. After which she continued her climb up the ranked ladder by herself. She was pumped up after seeing Lin Feng win two games in a row.

When Su Xue got in the ranked lobby, she directly called jungle. And when it was her pick, she instantly locked in Jarvan IV.

The result… She succeeded! ...In losing all three lanes for her teammates. Honestly, her feeding had become a form of art. At the 15-minute mark, Su Xue stared at her 1/7/5 KDA wide-eyed and dazed. She slumped back into her seat and rubbed her temples. Glancing at all the ellipses flooding her chat, she said in a defeated tone, “Alright, I deserve it. Roast away.”

As the clock struck six, Su Xue gloomily ended her stream after a fantastic three-game losing streak.

The viewers seemed a bit reluctant to see the stream end.

are you going to stream again later tonight?

Lil bro, we’ll be waiting for you to come back!

don’t let the washingboard maid play anymore. just have her pour you tea and bring you snacks

Su Xue’s eyes twitched in irritation. These fickle viewers of hers… their reluctance to see the stream end wasn’t even aimed at her! After the three-game loss streak, she’d gone from being the stream host back to being the maid. Lin Feng didn’t find the situation the least bit awkward either. He cheerfully interacted with the viewers and bid them farewell.

As the stream turned black and Su Xue slumped back in her chair, Lin Feng turned to her and asked, “Su Xue, I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?”

Su Xue sarcastically replied, “You little shit. You can’t even remember to pour yourself a glass of water. But your memory is suddenly perfect when it comes to this, huh…?”

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littleshanks's Thoughts

I think we’re getting the first glimpse of Su Xue putting the ‘su’ in ‘tsundere’.

Dev Thought: Whenever Shanks has a thought like this, I get really sad that we can’t downvote translator thoughts. It's not even a good pun! Like, a zero effort pun. Good puns are phenomenal comedy, and Shanks shames their good name.