Chapter 257 - Role Swap


You're all lucky I missed out on the TFT Tournament. I would have cucked all of you!
- Master-Commander DP (The finest pirate Valheim has ever seen)

Chapter 257 - Role Swap

Luo Yu stared at his screen, wide-eyed. W-where did he come from? He shook his head and slammed down on his keyboard. There was no plan or tactic right now. He mashed all his fingers into the keyboard, hoping for something to happen. What that something was, he didn’t quite know himself. All he knew was that there was a Yasuo on top of him that was emptying his health bar! Not like this! Not like thiiiis!

Lin Feng was comfortable, relaxed and in his element. He was surrounded by three enemy champions, but he wasn’t the slightest bit worried. He aimed at Twisted Fate and activated Sweeping Blade in combination with Steel Tempest. He dashed through Twisted Fate and then swept his katana out in a circle around him! His blade easily bisected Twisted Fate, whisking The Card Master’s life away.

You have slain an enemy!

“One down!” Lin Feng cheered over the team’s voice chat. Then he cast Sweeping Blade again, this time aiming for the Fiora. He dashed to her and followed up with an auto attack. Steel Tempest was off cooldown again. So, he stabbed out straight in front of him and pierced through her! A storm brewed around his blade. He turned away, and the Grand Duelist collapsed to the ground. He set his sights on the next target, Jarvan IV.

Double kill!

Huang Yang clicked away frantically, not even considering helping his teammates. He knew he couldn’t save them. E-Q! E-Q! E-Q! He kept slamming the two buttons on his keyboard that would have his Jarvan IV perform the flag-toss combo. Though rather than using it to engage, he wanted to escape with it. And then a large percentage of his health bar just disappeared, leaving him with less than 10%. “W-WHAT!?”

Tang Bingyao had just activated Rend. Her Kalista had pulled out all the spirit spears from Jarvan IV’s body, damaging him and more importantly slowing him. She smiled and nodded. “Mhm, kill him, Lin Feng!”

“I’m really good at getting triple kills too!” Lin Feng replied over the team’s voice chat, laughing. He chased after the slowed Jarvan IV, quickly catching up to him. Then he used the Sweeping Blade into Steel Tempest combo again. He dashed through the Jarvan IV and knocked him up. One auto attack. Two auto attacks. Steel Tempest! A wild storm gathered at the tip of his blade again. It whined to be released. To take a life. Lin Feng released it, calling forth the storm that would take Jarvan IV’s life.

Triple kill!

Tristana and Morgana were the only two Champions from Shanghai University of Finance’s team who were still alive. But they were in Team Shanghai’s Jungle, surrounded by four Team Shanghai Champions. The only fortunate part was that they’d arrived late to the fight, and as such were on the edge of it. They turned around and ran past the Red Buff Camp. Down a thin path walled in by trees and boulders. Towards the tri-brush connecting the jungle to the river and the bot lane.

Zhang Hao’s Teleport had been on cooldown at the start of the fight. But it was finally available. He had his Rumble teleport to a ward that was placed in the tri-brush where the Morgana and Tristana were running towards. “I’m coming to help!” he shouted over the team’s voice chat. His Rumble arrived before Tristana and Morgana did. He threw down his ultimate skill, The Equalizer! The rocket launchers on his shoulders fired six shots! They exploded on the Jungle floor, creating a wall of flames that dealt damage and applied a slow.

Qiu Le saw the Rumble ultimate in time, and his Tristana still had Rocket Jump available. She aimed her cannon at the ground and fired, its recoil hurling her into the air and over a wall into the Dragon pit. From there, he managed to escape. But Xie Qing didn’t have any skills available to jump over that wall. His Morgana was caught in the middle of Rumble’s ultimate. And the Rumble was now running straight at her!

“Hao Bro! Wait up! Don’t kill her! Give it to me!” Lin Feng shouted over the team’s voice chat. He ran after the Morgana, trying to get to her before his teammates killed her. Morgana’s health was dropping fast. “My quadra, please!” Lin Feng yelled, spamming his E key. And then, just as it looked like he wasn’t going to get the kill, Sweeping Blade finally activated. Yasuo dashed through Morgana, the damage of the skill killing her.

Quadra kill!

The audience watching the scrim game in the university’s esports clubroom felt their jaws collectively drop to the floor. Their team had engaged the fight. They’d caught Team Shanghai’s ad-carry completely out of position. And they’d somehow still lost. Zero kills. Four deaths.

    “Oh, shit... That’s game, isn’t it?”
    “Pretty much. Gg to the high schoolers, I guess.”
    “Dang! That was such a cool teamfight! That Ali setting up the Yasuo ultimate? So cool!”
    “You think that ad-carry girl was baiting Huang Yang? Those high schoolers responded so quickly!”
    “Fuck! You might be right! What if they baited that fight? Shit man, that’d be fucking scary as fuck!”
    “I know, right! They’re good!”

The players from the university’s second team looked over their shoulders, listening to the conversations behind them. Then they turned back to look at the large LCD screen above the stage. They weren’t dreaming, or having a nightmare. Their team had really just lost that teamfight. They finally turned to look at each other, finding the same dismay in each others’ eyes that they felt themselves.

    “Fuck… I thought they had them when Huang Yang got that pick on Kalista… I thought we had them!”
    “I know, man. I know. I thought so too. But how they turned that around… I don’t know, man. I don’t know.”
    “Imagine if we’d played them. That would’ve been far more embarrassing…”
    “They can teamfight. And that Yasuo… Such an overpowered shit champ!”
    “Man, I wanna agree. But… Let’s face it, man. That Yasuo played that perfectly. That entire team of high schoolers and girls somehow played that fucking perfectly, man. I don’t get it. Since when are we losing to a bunch of kids?”

Hang Ying was watching the game in the back of the esports clubroom with a couple of her friends. The girls were excitedly chatting together. Because for the first time, a couple of girls were standing up against the guys, showing them that girls could play League of Legends competitively!

    “Those two girls are as good as the guys!”
    “I still think that Yasuo is really cute…”
    “Yeah, yeah, we’ll get you his number after the games. But those two girls! Did you see how they played that?”
    “Right! They survived for so long! It looked like they were going to die several times! But they always just survived, and then the others came! That was so impressive!”
    “I can’t believe how good those two are! The guys got nothing on them!”
    “I wanna play myself now! GO, GO, GIRL POWER!”

Hang Ying smiled as she listened to her friends. They’re right. The two girls did play that incredibly well. Huang Yang should’ve never taken so long to finish them off. But they kept dodging the important skills. I don’t know how they managed that. Just that they did! She looked at the two girls in the soundproof booth. She couldn’t really make them out as they were hidden behind their screens, but she imagined them looking all serious and focused. It’s so good to see girls beating those guys. That’ll show them that girls can also play League! We’re really not any worse! There just aren’t as many girls playing, that’s all. But we’re just as good!

The lost teamfight was a terrible result for Shanghai University of Finance’s team. Not just because they lost the teamfight, but also because all four kills went to the Yasuo. Luo Yu chewed on his lips as he stared at Yasuo dashing through the minions in the mid lane and shook his head. He’s the best player on their team and he’s playing the strongest carry champion of their team. If anyone else had gotten the kills, we might’ve still stood a chance. But on him? It’s over. We’re done. He sighed and said over the team’s voice chat, “Let’s give it a few more minutes, guys. See if that Yasuo gets too confident and throws, or if he keeps playing like he is…”

The rest of the university’s team agreed with Luo Yu. They played the game, farming minions and looking for opportunities to make a play. But there was nothing they could do. Every time that they engaged a Champion from Team Shanghai, Yasuo would inexplicably appear out of nowhere. There was nothing they could do to stop him. They lost their towers in all three lanes. Then they lost two inhibitors. And finally, 25 minutes into the game, Luo Yu led a surrender vote.

DEFEAT!

The players from Shanghai University of Finance’s main team looked at their screens, lost. Their original plan was to stomp some humility into Team Shanghai, and then hand over the reins to their second roster. But that seemed silly now. They’d lost, and resoundingly so. Luo Yu glanced over the edge of his screen at the players from the second team. They were standing right in front of the soundproof booth. He could see their bleak expressions. There’s no point in having them play. They know it and we know it. He chuckled  self-deprecatingly and then turned to his teammates. “Well, we got what we deserved for underestimating them. But now we know how good they are. We have to win the next game.”

A heavy silence hung over the soundproof booth. They all knew Luo Yu was right, and mumbled as much. More than that, they were ashamed of themselves. Losing to a high school team was bad enough, but losing to a high school team after calling them out and poking fun at them, that was far worse. They didn’t even want to step out of the soundproof booth, because then they’d have to look at their fellow students. The thought alone was too embarrassing. So they gritted their teeth and joined the lobby for the next game.

The computer monitors in Team Shanghai’s soundproof booth all read ‘victory’! Lin Feng was the first to jump up from his gaming chair, balling his fist and throwing it up into the air! “We beat the university team!”

“Mhm!” Tang Bingyao nodded, clenching her fist too and pumping it in the air.

Zhang Hao laughed and shouted, “Hell yeah!” Then he noticed that both Lin Feng and Tang Bingyao were punching the air. He looked at his hand and slowly balled it into a fist. Then he grinned and threw it up in the air. “Hell yeah!”

Zeng Rui looked at his teammates and said, “Good work, guys. Let’s prepare for the next game now. I suggest we try a role swap this game.”

Lin Feng left his hand hanging in the air as he turned to look at Zeng Rui. He asked, confused, “A role swap? Why?”

Yeah, why? An Xin observed Zeng Rui for a short moment before her eyes lit up. Oh! She started smiling and said, “Alright, sounds good! Let’s go with the role swap!”

Luo Yu led his team through Champion Select. Nothing strange happened. The strongest Champions in the current meta were banned, including Yasuo, and they got to pick the lineup that they wanted for this second game in the best of three series versus Team Shanghai. But when the game moved to the loading screen, the confidence they’d built up during the last few minutes disappeared again.

Game 2

Shanghai University of Finance (Blue) versus Team Shanghai (Red)
Top lane: Gnar versus Mundo
Jungle: Lee Sin versus Jarvan IV
Mid lane: Orianna versus Veigar
AD-carry: Jinx versus Lucian
Support: Janna versus Thresh

“What the fuck are they doing?” Huang Yang blurted out.

“Wha-huh?” Xie Qing mumbled.

The Champions Team Shanghai had chosen were strong Champions in their respective roles. They also came together nicely to form a powerful team. That wasn’t what had Shanghai University of Finance’s team confused and caught off guard. It was who were playing the Champions that came completely out of left field for them. Zhang Hao was still in the top lane and Tang Bingyao in the bot lane as ad-carry, but everyone else had changed their roles. Lin Feng was now the Support, Zeng Rui the Jungler, and An Xin the Midlaner!


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littleshanks's Thoughts

Alright. You guys remember the whole thing with SliceSpike and the argument about the Philippines? So SliceSpike wrote out a rebuttal that we agreed to publish. But the timing didn’t work out super well because the chapters went into Tian Tian getting bullied and all that. We agreed to hold off on publishing the rebuttal when it seemed more appropriate. Which is now. Just a disclaimer-type thing before that. We don’t condone or engage in cyber bullying. That shit is messed up and all kinds of demented. This whole thing with SliceSpike and SpeedDemon and the Great Philippines Debate, all of it is meant in good fun and everyone involved (both the actual people and everyone else in the community) knows that it is meant in good fun. No hurt feelings here. 

The other thing that we do need to talk about is including political/historical content on here. The general policy is not to include anything political on WW or chapters. Because there’s no good outcome with something like that. Someone always ends up outraged and annoyed, which then results in jibber-jabber that gives everyone a headache. Which is why our political content is usually absurdly degen. Like Naruto Mitch McConnell. Real talk here, folks, we work on and publish a webnovel about League of Legends. We aren’t authoritative sources on anything, nor do we consider this to be a platform that can sway the hearts and minds of people. We’re here to entertain for 15 minutes a day, and that’s about it. Nothing we say is ever meant to be taken seriously or thought about beyond the length of the average chuckle. 

But this Phillippines thing, that’s some premium infotainment. Through the course of this insane argument, I learned way more about the history of the Philippines than I knew before. And it's led to some interesting conversation with a bunch of nurses and lab techs at the hospital. That’s the spirit this is intended in. Just a little bit of extra information on what is an overlooked and fairly interesting bit of history with some added spice for entertainment. If some of you are interested in it, go read up and form your own opinions. Do not listen to the guys trying to spread a conspiracy theory about Mitch McConnel being a weeb or consider anything we say to be authoritative. That is all. And with that, we continue to:

The Great Philippines Debate: Part 2 — SliceSpike’s Rebuttal!
By: Slicespike

Definitions

All Definitions taken from the Oxford English Dictionary
Invasion(n) - 
1. An instance of invading a country or region with an armed force.
1.1 An incursion by a large number of people or things into a place or sphere of activity.
1.2 An unwelcome intrusion into another's domain.
Invade(v) -
(of an armed force) enter (a country or region) so as to subjugate or occupy it.
Betrayal(n) -
The action of betraying one's country, a group, or a person; treachery.
Philippine–American War 
- an armed conflict between the First Philippine Republic and the United States that lasted from February 4, 1899 to July 2, 1902

*Disclaimer, these are jokes between friends. He started the war by spending $30 to bribe Shanks, Dev, and Sietse to flame me. I’m just ending it.

Argument

Let’s be very clear, the argument isn’t whether or not the US betrayed the Philippines, but THE ARGUMENT IS WHETHER OR NOT THE PHILIPPINE-AMERICAN WAR WAS AN INVASION. Betrayal and invasion certainly aren’t mutually exclusive, considering that betrayal is a mere instrument of war. Both a betrayal and an invasion can both happen. However, it was SpeedDemon who argued that the war was not an invasion, but was a betrayal. There’s just no point to arguing about whether a betrayal happened or not. 

I’m not going to argue whether or not a betrayal happened because legally, the US didn’t sign any binding literature or give any definite promises to grant the Philippines independence. Technically, the US called the entire war an insurrection on the part of the Filipinos since the US legally owned the Philippines after gaining it in the Treaty of Paris in 1898 from Spain. Even then, do Spain and the US simply “own” the Philippines despite the native population being there first? Let’s get into the nitty gritty.

Analysis

At the onset of the war, the US only had control of Manila and nowhere else. According to Britannica, the conditions of the Treaty of Paris that gave the US ownership of the Philippines was not recognized by Filipino Leaders, whose troops were in control of the entire archipelago.

The first conflict of the war was at the Battle of Manila, where the US soldiers forced the Filipino soldiers out of Manila, thus gaining control of the city of Manila. From there “American columns pushed north, east, and south from Manila to split the insurgent forces and seize key towns”. At this point, even though the US government legally owned the Philippines, they did not occupy nor fully control it. The Philippines were largely autonomous, without American oversight. By moving out of Manila with armed forces in an attempt to occupy or subjugate the Philippines, the US began an invasion according to the definition of the word.

Afterwards, the US began the Iloilo campaign to establish American control over other important islands. Iloilo on Panay island was occupied on February 11 by AMERICAN FORCES. Blah Blah Blah, most of the campaigns were the same thing. US troops were pushing inwards into the Philippines through the riverways, establishing control along the rivers using gunboats and armed garrisons. Once again, this reflects that the US was actively pushing into the country using armed forces with the intent of subjugating and occupying the Philippines. 

I’m not going to cover the rest of the detailed results of the war, but it’s pretty evident that the Filipino leaders were in control of the peninsula (Manila excluded) and the US had to invade the country to gain control. By definition, the US military invaded (of an armed force - US Military) enter (the Philippines) so as to subjugate or occupy it.

Afterthought

While I fully admit I have strong and sometimes polarizing opinions, I’m not deaf to change nor criticism. But you have to criticize me on accurate points. If your entire argument lacks evidence, I will simply ignore it and call your bluff. Shanks, I’m calling you out here. 

The Wikipedia page for the Philippine-American War LITERALLY categorizes the page under "Invasions by the United States". This isn’t the meat of the argument, but it was kinda ironic.