Chapter 219 - Purrr-fection and the Dragon!


「HELL YEAH WE DID!!!! BUNBUN 6666666

GODLEE! Oh wait! GODDESS LEE! WAIT! NO! AHHH GET THE EYE BLEACH!

bunbun is da friggn best ÜÜÜ

Su Xue was watching the Finals of the Shanghai 16 School Tournament on her own stream. Her viewers were going bananas over An Xin’s play in the bot lane, where she had picked off the Nami from under Red team’s outer tower. Su Xue wasn’t even remotely as excited as they were. She’d slumped back in her chair and was now complaining. “She didn’t even get the double kill!” That was the question Su Xue kept asking in her mind after the gank ended. There were three Champions there. They had killed Nami without losing any health at all, and they’d done it quickly. It didn’t make any sense at all to Su Xue. Why didn’t she also kill the Jinx? It was so easy! Then she shook her head. Nah, nevermind! Forgot about that for now. This is a good chance to practice some live commentating. I gotta make this fun! She perked back up and leaned closer into the microphone, “That was great! Did you guys think our BunBun was this good? I know I’m surprised! I played with her last night and I could tell she was good at League. But that play... did you guys see that? Holy shit! My heart is still pounding! She forced a play out of nothing! Only our BunBun could pull something like that off!”

Of course we did. We ain’t blind! Now get back to commentating! You still have to practice!!

Yeah! share your deep insights with us, Maid Su!

hahahah, xue xue,, show us how much you know of this game Xdd

well give you some much needed feedback **wink wink**

Su Xue read the chat and pretended to be annoyed. “Who you callin’ a maid? You’re the maid!” This was all part of being a good streamer. She needed to let them see that she was reading their messages and reacting to what they said. If she just did her own thing and the chat talked to each other, there was no interaction. Then she giggled, waved her hand and cleared her throat. Su Xue waited for 30 seconds to let the chat cooldown. Let’s see if all that work learning how to shoutcast got me somewhere. 

 

“Hihi guys! Let’s talk about this play a little! I’ll break it down for you and tell you what I saw. It’ll be so fun! Shoutcaster Su Xue, reporting for duty! First things first, I’m going to say that I’m a little sad they didn’t go for a double kill. That would’ve been so EXCITING, right? But I’m guessing that all their skills were on cooldown right after they killed Nami. And with that Darius teleporting in… retreating was probably the smart decision to make. They ended it on a high note and an absolute victory. If they went in on the Jinx while also trying to fight off the Darius… it wouldn’t have gone so well for them. Best case scenario, only one of them would die and add an asterix to that play. Worst case scenario, all of them end up dead and the play goes from a win to a loss.” 

Su Xue paused after she said all that to catch her breath. She didn’t actually need the break, but it was a good way to let her viewers digest all of the information she threw at them. Then she took a sip of water and winked at the camera. 

“Teehee! Everyone get all that? Ready to keep going? Okay! Let’s talk about what happened during the gank. We’ll break the whole thing down together. You guys keep an eye on me though, tell me if I get anything wrong or missed something important!” 

Su Xue leaned in a little bit closer to the camera and looked directly at it. 

“So the whole thing started with Thresh and Vayne squaring up against Nami. Our BunBun was running down to bot lane. When she got close enough, Thresh went in and started the whole thing. He threw a Death Sentence right at Nami. We all thought he was going to hook Nami and pull her in. But then he missed! I thought the whole thing was going to go south when he missed! But it turns out that was part of the play. Nami moved to the side to avoid the hook, and THAT’S WHEN THE PLAY ACTUALLY STARTED! I almost missed the moment when Vayne tumbled forward and pinned Nami to the wall with Condemn! They used the hook from Death Sentence to misdirect the Nami! HOW BRILLIANT WAS THAT?” 

Su Xue paused and shifted in her seat. Then she pulled her mic a little bit closer. This was a tactic she learned from other streamers to make sure everyone was still listening and not tuning her out. 

“Once Nami got pinned to the wall, that’s when An Xin arrived! BunBun! She dashed around so quickly I could barely see what she was doing. But back to this, Nami’s pinned to the wall under her tower. That would’ve been a problem for anyone else, but not An Xin! Lee Sin runs in and throws down a ward near Nami. Then he dashes to the ward with Safeguard. AND THEN IMMEDIATELY USES FLASH TO GET BEHIND THE NAMI AND REPOSITION HIMSELF SO HE’S FACING VAYNE AND THRESH! That was the real centerpoint of the play. Now Lee Sin is standing there with the tower behind him and Nami in front of him. But he’s also in the tower’s attack range! Lee Sin kicks the Nami towards Vayne and Thresh, away from the tower. Then he uses Sonic Wave to mark Nami’s new position and rushes out of the tower’s range with Resonating Strike! Purr-fection!” 

Su Xue stopped to giggle at her pun. Then she licked her lips because she’d managed to tickle them with all the purring. Her plan was to end it with the wordplay. But she decided that it wasn’t a good conclusion. So she added, “One mistake and she would’ve died. She only survived because she linked everything together seamlessly! Those scrubs from Shanghai High School can’t do anything to stop her! She’s way too cute and too good at League!”

6666666!!!1!

thought for sure she ded. but then she dashed after the nami…. crazy

who cares about lil bro???? ALL WE NEED IS BUNBUN!!!!!!!!

BunBun is so friggin cool. I mean… I knew she was good, but that good? Man! I’m so impressed

“Oh, look! They’re showing us the players!” Su Xue exclaimed. The official broadcast zoomed in on Zeng Rui looking annoyed. A few seconds later, it switched to An Xin’s smiling face. Then Wei Dong’s mouth falling open in surprise. And finally, it showed Tang Bingyao. Her head was hung low, and she looked a little sad. Even. Su Xue didn’t notice at first. She was only pointing at her screen and shouting, “That girl right there! Her! She’s the one Lin Feng keeps going out to see! It’s her! Ha— Uh? What’s wrong with her?”

Tang Bingyao had gotten the kill! Her Vayne was the heroine of this gank! She should’ve been celebrating. Or at least happy. But she didn't look happy or excited. Instead, she was shaking her head and mumbling to herself. Then she looked aimlessly at her screen and the players next to her. She looked downright miserable! Su Xue scratched the back of her head and mumbled, “Did she eat something bad?” Then she shook her head and laughed at the camera again. “Anyway, see? I told you Lin Feng is a pervert! He chases after all the pretty girls! I think we should teach him a lesson about monogamy!”

Thats lil bro for you!! hahahahahha

She looks so sad!!! I really wanna go hug her and cheer her up :(((

lil bro has two GFs???? MY HERO! HERO!!1!!

lil bro is livin the life! He has a maid and AT LEAST two girls by his side! sooooo jealous >.<”

Monogamy only for tha fugly bishs!!!!!

There weren’t many people in the competitive scene who remembered An Xin. Most people in the Chinese esports scene didn’t even know who she was. But Chu Fang was one of the select few who knew her and remembered her. An Xin was the Coach for Lin Feng’s old team. She was right there with them, helping them get all the way to the Finals of the Season 1 World Championships. And she wasn’t just a coach either. An Xin was right up there with the rest of Lin Feng’s old team when it came to playing League of Legends. 

Chu Fang sat backstage, watching the game. His eyes were glued to the screen and his cheeks were red from the strain of the permanent smile plastered on his face. An Xin and Lin Feng! Playing together again! This is too good to be true! When An Xin ganked bot lane and pulled off a seamless play, he almost jumped up and started clapping. But he remembered his position and composed himself, covering up his glee with a quick cough. Not very well though. It was not difficult to notice how proud he was of An Xin after that play. 

“That’s BunBun for you!” he exclaimed to no one in particular while laughing. Then his screen showed all five players from High School 13. Lin Feng and An Xin were arguing about something. Chu Feng watched them and smiled. Waves of nostalgia washed over Chu Fang. This argument reminded him of all the arguments and fights those two had in the past. “Haha! I can’t believe they’re still doing that! Hell will freeze over before those two stop bickering.”

Lin Feng panned his camera to the bot lane, confused, and blurted out, “Huh? You did a tower dive in bot?”

An Xin looked over at him and said, “Yeah, I did. I told you I was going all out this game.”

Wei Dong, still reeling and trying to piece together how they went from him missing the skillshot to killing, had no idea that Lin Feng and An Xin were talking. He didn’t hear what was said. Or the tone of the conversation. The poor guy was just staring at his screen and awed by An Xin’s awesomeness. Then he had to finally give voice to what he was feeling. Which is why he exclaimed, “Wow! BunBun, you’re so good! That ult-flash was amazing! I had no clue you were that good!”

Wei Dong was a nice guy. He wasn’t trying to spark a fire with that comment. If he’d known that a storm was brewing between An Xin and Lin Feng, he would’ve stayed quiet. Not said anything at all. Ouyang had already warned him about how bad things got when Lin Feng and An Xin argued. It wasn’t just a simple warning or a for-your-information moment. Ouyang had told him that getting in between Lin Feng and An Xin during a fight would get him killed. That was the one thing that Wei Dong didn’t want to do. And somehow, that was exactly what he managed to do. Wei Dong was a truly unlucky soul. 

Lin Feng glared at Wei Dong and said, “Hey, hey! I can do that too! Just watch me, I’m coming bot!”

An Xin rolled her eyes back and slapped him down, “Don’t try to steal my spotlight! I know you’re a glory whore! Go win in your own lane so you can tell everyone how good you are at everything. There’s no one left for you to kill in bot. Who are you going to go for? The Darius? Who, by the way, you could’ve stopped if you started going to top! But you didn’t, so he teleported to bot lane to help his ad-carry! Or you going to do a towerdive and kill the Jinx? Or towerdive and kill them both? HAHAHAAH! YOU SHOULD DO THAT! Then you can tell everyone how you’re really good at rushing in and dying! Actually... Go ahead, show us how you’re going to kill them in bot.”

Lin Feng had no good comeback. He stopped pathing to bot lane and grumbled for a bit. Then he went back to farming minions in the mid lane. He knew that An Xin was right. 

Shanghai High School’s Toplaner had tried to save Zeng Rui’s Nami by teleporting to the bot lane. But he was too late. Nami had died before his Teleport finished channeling. He cursed at himself for being too late over the team’s voice chat. But Zeng Rui assured him that the Teleport was still good. It had stopped High School 13 from towerdiving the Jinx, and he could also stop them from taking the Dragon. There was, however, one big downside to his Teleport. That stupid Mundo is freefarming minions in the top lane while I’m stuck dicking around here. I’m not doing any god damned thing! How is this a good use of my teleport? It’s a waste. A complete fucking waste! I’m going to be behind in experience and gold. How am I supposed to keep that stupid briefcase throwing monster from scaling?

The game was still close in terms of gold, but the balance was slowly tipping in High School 13’s favour. Chen Ze was pulling ahead in the top lane, and Lin Feng was doing the same in the mid lane. They were only ahead by a few minions, but that was big in the early game. The deciding factor here was that Shanghai High School lost a fight in the bot lane. The only lane in which they’d been winning.

Zeng Rui lowered his head and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. I underestimated her. Shit. Why? How is she this good? It didn’t make sense to him. An Xin is the coach! Not a real player! A coach is supposed to be good at coaching and a player at playing. Not both. She shouldn’t be good at the game. Definitely not this good! 

He knew how valuable good coaches were. But the issue was that An Xin’s skill made her vastly more valuable to the team as a player. Zeng Rui couldn’t understand why High School 13 made someone as good as An Xin into a coach. She’s better than that other Jungler, dammit! He thought back to the professional teams Shanghai High School had practiced against over the last couple of months. She’s better than all of them. Is she? It looks like it. She’s like a professional Jungler… Wait. Is that it? Is she their secret weapon? If that’s the case, then we have to play more aggressively. Shut her down before she can set up another one of those plays. Maybe if we push her hard enough, she’ll start making mistakes. We can shut her down if we push harder in the bot lane… He took a deep breath and then said over the team’s voice chat, “Come gank bot in a minute.”

At 9 minutes, Shanghai High School’s Elise had roamed down to bot lane. Zeng Rui told her where High School 13 had warded, so she walked around them. Then Zeng Rui had her wait while he looked for the perfect moment to engage. That came only a couple of seconds later when Vayne and Thresh moved too close together and a step too far forward. Zeng Rui activated his Nami’s ultimate skill–Tidal Wave! The Nami called forth a giant wave that surged towards the Vayne and Thresh, catching both of them off guard and knocking them up into the air.

The Elise ran into the lane and stopped in front of the Vayne. She waited until the last second before the Vayne hit the ground to hurl a Cocoon. Vayne was stunned!

Zeng Rui caught up to the Vayne and Exhausted her. A debilitating aura fell over her, vastly hampering her stats. Then he placed a Vision Ward. Vayne could turn invisible with Tumble after using her ultimate–⁠Final Hour. Zeng Rui wasn’t about to let that happen. While all of this was happening, Jinx peppered the Vayne with bullets from her minigun. The Vayne’s health quickly plummeted until there was nothing left.

《An ally has been slain!》

Wei Dong had been trying to do whatever he could to save Tang Bingyao instead of escaping what was a hopeless situation. After she died, he found himself facing three enemy champions alone with no way out. He started running to his outer tower, and the three champions from Shanghai High School chased after him. And somehow, against all odds, he managed to get underneath the tower. I-I survived? That was so clos— 

Just as he started relaxing under the safety of the tower, Shanghai High School’s champions decided to towerdive. He was fighting for his life again! CrapCrapCrap! I gotta do some— He panicked and started button mashing, activating every skill at his disposal with no rhyme or reason. He Flayed and threw out a Death Sentence, hoping just one of his skills would connect and help him maybe kill one of his attackers. But Shanghai High School was far too good for that. They juggled the turret’s aggro and killed his Thresh. Then they retreated, victorious. 

The players from Tonji Affiliated High’s team were sitting at the front of the stadium. They heard the cheers erupt from the audience behind them, but didn’t join in themselves. Their Support shook his head and said, “That was a big mistake from High School 13. You really can’t underestimate Shanghai High School’s Botlaners.”

Tonji Affiliated High’s Toplaner frowned and chimed in, “That girl, Tang Bingyao, right? She’s playing well. Just that her lane is getting camped by the Elise. And the gap between the Supports is just too big. Such a shame. Could’ve been a really interesting lane.”

Tonji Affiliated High’s Support nodded and said, “Yeah. Maybe if this guy here…” He elbowed the Ad-carry sitting next to him. “... had had the balls to ask her out instead of running away, he could’ve taught her a thing or two. She might’ve been good enough to play against Zeng Rui, haha!”

Tonji Affiliated High’s ad-carry slumped back in his chair, his face a deep shade of red, and mumbled, “I didn’t run away. I had somewhere to be. I… I…”

“They’re just busting your balls. Don’t let ‘em get to you,” Tonji Affiliated High’s Midlaner said. He looked up at the stage and continued, “If High School 13’s bot lane is losing, it just means they’re worse. A difference of skill between the Supports and the camping… those are just excuses. You either win or you lose. That’s all that really matters in the end.”

High School 13 had just lost both Botlaners. The odds of them getting the first Dragon of this game weren’t looking good either. But Lin Feng and An Xin weren’t going to go down without a fight! Lin Feng engaged  the Syndra in mid lane with a Spirit Rush. His Ahri dashed forward and blew a heart-shaped kiss at the Syndra to charm her.

Just as the charmed Syndra started ambling towards Ahri, Lee Sin ran into the lane. An Xin dropped a ward behind Syndra and hopped to it with Safeguard. Then Lee Sin unleashed Dragon’s Rage to roundhouse kick Syndra into High School 13’s tower.

Shanghai High School’s Syndra was already 0/2/0. The last thing the Midlaner wanted to do was die to Lin Feng yet again. He frantically clicked in an attempt to get away. The charm broke after what seemed like an eternity, and he Flashed. The Syndra blinked out of the tower range and moved towards the Red team’s top side jungle. For that single second, he started to believe that he was going to escape! But then Ahri charged up to his Syndra again with Spirit Rush. Ahri had caught up to him! He saw the Ahri winding up and hurling her Orb of Deception. That Orb of Deception was the last thing he saw before his screen went gray.

《Killing Spree!》

Lin Feng let go of his mouse and keyboard and threw both his arms up while he shouted over the team’s voice chat, “Nice! I told you guys! I’m really good at Ahri too!”

An Xin grimaced and replied, “You’re really good at stealing kills, is what you mean.”

Lin Feng and An Xin started another argument, while in the background Westwind started up his spiel with the audience again. Zeng Rui watched all of it happen, grinding his teeth the whole time. He couldn’t hear what An Xin and Lin Feng were saying. But he could guess. The joy, laughter, and lack of tension that he could see told him more than enough. He clenched his fists, raging. He’s snowballing again. She helped him snowball. She got him two kills. First that stupid Jungle invade and then the ganks. The mid lane. Bot lane. And now mid lane again. That’s four plays and three kills all thanks to her. It shouldn’t be like this. 

His team had just killed Vayne and Thresh and he wanted to take the Dragon. But now that their Midlaner was dead, it didn’t seem like a good idea anymore. Shit! Ahri, Lee, and Mundo. We can’t take them on and also fight the Dragon. We’ll lose too much. Damn it! We can’t take the Dragon. He took several deep breaths, fighting back the urge to yell at his Midlaner. Then he shook his head and said over the team’s voice chat, “We’re giving up on the Dragon. Go back to farming your lanes.” It’s time to turtle. Our teamfight is stronger. We’re the better team! Just gotta keep that Vayne down like we’ve been doing and this is going to look like a 5vs4 in another 20 minutes. That’s when we’ll win. It’ll work. We’ll be fine!

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littleshanks's Thoughts

Sietse Thought: Here in the Lowlands, as the French like to call us, we get around on bikes. You take them everywhere and it's usually pretty decent. But every now and then, your bike decides it hasn't received enough love. Then it starts complaining to you by making sounds that are kind of worrying. But y’know, maybe the bike is just craving some attention. You listen to it, try to understand what it's saying, and then decide on your next course of action.

Tonight, that went wrong. My bike has been making sounds lately. I thought they were screams of love for me as I rode it again and again, satisfying all its needs. But ploughing it hard and rough isn't always what the bike wants. It prefers a more gentle touch that's only rough when it should be. So my bike broke down in the middle of the city. I didn't bring a facemask, so I couldn't call a cab. Long story short, I spent the better part of my night walking home. How's your day going?

Dev Thought: Okay. I’m going to be super honest with you guys and tell you a secret today. I genuinely do not care about Sietse’s weird bike-riding life. Every time he talks about it, I play music to drown it out because I’m afraid it’ll send me into a coma. I would go down in history if that happened though. No one has actually been bored into a coma before. They’d write about me in all the medical textbooks. 

But I read through Sietse’s weird bike hentai because I have to make sure that chapter quality is up to par. And as I read through it, I was reminded of an old joke. 

“A wealthy Businessman from California travelled to Japan for an international business meeting. His secretary had gotten confused by the timezone and date difference, so she booked his flight incorrectly. He arrived a day sooner than his meeting. The Businessman walked around Japan and started to feel lonely towards the evening. He wandered into a Hostess Club by sheer coincidence and had a fantastic time! And was discretely informed that he could discretely employ the services of one of their young ladies if he didn’t want to spend the night alone in a hotel room. He decided to go for it. 

The Japanese girl was beautiful and made him feel comfortable, despite the language barrier. The Japanese girl didn’t speak much English, and the Businessman spoke no Japanese. But she still managed to stroke his passions and they fell onto the bed, entwined in each other’s arms. From that point on, clothes flew off and they started making the beast with two backs. Then the tempo of their horizontal tango increased, and the Businessman lost himself as he approached the peak of physical pleasure. He jackhammered faster and faster, and the Japanese girl started screaming, “Gama Su! Gama Su!” The cries of encouragement spurned that man on to even greater heights and he went even harder and faster. She continued to shriek out “Gama Su!” And then they fell back in bed and went to sleep. 

The next day, the Businessman met his Japanese business partners at their office. They concluded their meeting in the early afternoon, and decided to go to a Club for lunch and a few rounds of Golf. While on the 8th Hole of the course, one of the Japanese business partners managed to get a Hole-in-One! Everyone congratulated him in Japanese. The Businessman didn’t want to be the odd man out, and he also wanted to impress his new business partners. So he clapped the Japanese man on the back and loudly exclaimed, “Gama Su! Gama Su!” 

All of the Japanese business partners stopped talking and looked at the Businessman in confusion. After a brief pause, the Japanese man who made the Hole-in-One asked the Businessman, “Wrong hole? What do you mean wrong hole?” 

Shanks Thought: UwU Daddy Devshaaard! Gamaa Suuuuuu! Gomenasaaaai! Don’t beat me, Daddy Devshard!