Around that time, Xu Baocai and some other Outer Sect disciples were in the middle of their journeyman apothecary promotion test. Elder Xu was off to the side, a somber look on his face as he presided over the occasion. Suddenly, a flock of pigeons appeared, and plopping sounds began to echo out as... endless amounts of bird excrement showered down. It was like rain, covering Xu Baocai, the other test-takers, and the audience. Even Elder Xu’s hair was peppered with excrement....
Everyone looked up in shock as the flock of pigeons flew off into the distance, excrement showering down below them....
“Those pigeons... I've never seen them before....”
“Dammit! What’s going on? I can’t believe... I can’t believe they’re crapping non-stop!!” The disciples were in an uproar, and Elder Xu stood there blankly for a moment before his face began to twitch.
Chen Zi’ang and Zhao Yiduo stood on a mountain path, glowering at each other.
The two of them had been at odds since they were servants, and their conflict was only growing more intense. Usually they just glared at each other, but now things were getting more serious. “Today, we're finally going to resolve our--”
However, before the words could be spoken completely, a group of legged fish ran by, kicking up a cloud of dust as they did.
Before Chen Zi’ang and Zhao Yiduo could react, a group of cats approached at top speed, emitting thunderous burps as they ran after the fish. Chen Zi'ang and Zhao Yiduo gasped in shock, their hostilities completely forgotten.
“Did... did we just see a bunch of legged fish?” Zhao Yiduo blurted, wondering if he was seeing things.
“Those cats’ burps were as loud as thunder....” Chen Zi’ang said, eyes wide.
Further down the mountain, cries of alarm rose up from numerous Outer Sect disciples as a horde of red-eyed rabbits began to nibble at their legs. Although the rabbits were relatively easy to grab, the chattering sounds of their biting teeth were fear-inspiring.
Most shocking of all was one particular rabbit which sat on the back of an elephant-sized chicken.
“Eee? You can talk? Hahaha! This medicinal pill is incredible. I, Bai Xiaochun, am clearly super awesome. This rabbit can actually talk!”
Everyone on Fragrant Cloud Peak was going crazy.... Countless people heard the words spoken by the rabbit, and quickly realized that the instigator of the entire affair was none other than Bai Xiaochun!
In the Inner Sect district, a group of toads hopped along. Any Inner Sect disciple who caught sight of them would gasp in shock. The sight of such eye-covered toads was enough to terrify anyone.
There was even a nine-headed tiger running amok. Fragrant Cloud Peak was thrown into complete chaos.
And there was one particular monkey… which had climbed all the way up to the roof of Li Qinghou’s residence. There it sat, on the highest point of Fragrant Cloud Peak, chin rested in its palm, looking on thoughtfully as Xu Meixiang made her way off into the distance, having just finished chatting with Li Qinghou....
Li Qinghou’s face was ashen as he stood there outside his residence, looking up at the monkey. He was just about to start yelling when, all of a sudden, plopping sounds could be heard, and a rain of bird excrement descended. Li Qinghou’s jaw dropped.
It had been quite some time... since there had been a commotion on Fragrant Cloud Peak. Outer and Inner Sect disciples alike were all in an uproar. For the most part, the animals didn’t really affect them. However, no one could figure out how such tiny pigeons could unleash such a torrent of bird excrement....
Gradually, the rabbit, which originally could only recite three passages, learned to speak some more. Gradually, it also learned how to cry out at the top of its lungs.
“Heavens! What's that?!
“Did you see that? That rabbit can talk!
“This is definitely the handiwork of Bai Xiaochun!
“Keep this on the down low, but yesterday I saw Elder Zhou go into a room with those phoenixes of his. Afterward, I heard some really strange noises....
“Elder Sister Zhou Xinqi, Elder Sister Du Lingfei, I don’t care if Bai Xiaochun tries to stop me, the two of you will definitely end up with me, Xu Baocai!
“Elder Brother Hou Yunfei, you’re so naughty! What are you doing...? Uh... what’s that? Why are those monkeys twitching like that?!
“Junior Sister Meixiang, I, Li Qinghou, am not fickle in love. After I break through into the Gold Core stage, I’ll definitely take you as my Daoist partner!
“Hahaha! This medicinal pill is incredible. I, Bai Xiaochun, am clearly super awesome. This rabbit can actually talk!”
As the rabbit ran to and fro, its repertoire of passages grew. It had very sensitive ears, and would repeat anything it heard. Many people were affected, much to their chagrin. The sharp-eared rabbit soon began to spread what had been well-kept secrets, even naming names.
Some of the stories the rabbit spread were almost impossible to believe. That was especially true of the one about Li Qinghou.... It was something the likes of which had never been talked about publicly, and many people were left completely shocked, even many elders.
Xu Baocai was stunned, Hou Yunfei’s eyes went wide, and Li Qinghou began to tremble in rage.
Right about then, Bai Xiaochun was returning from the market, numerous small animals in tow, brimming with anticipation regarding his next set of experiments. However, as soon as he stepped onto Fragrant Cloud Peak, bird excrement rained down. Jumping to the side, he looked up with a frown to see a flock of pigeons flying by.
“Eee? Why do they look so familiar...?” Suddenly, a rustling sound could be heard from the nearby bushes, and a school of legged fish burst out. Bai Xiaochun’s jaw dropped as he watched a bunch of burping cats fly out after the fish. Moments later, his eyes went wide as a troupe of twitching monkeys ran by, frothing at the mouth as they sped along.
Bai Xiaochun began to tremble, and all the hair on his body stood on end.
“This... this is... impossible!” He quickly pulled out the Golden Crow Sword and flew up into the air. Wings sprouted out behind him as he shot up the mountain at top speed.
As he flew along, he saw animals everywhere. He also got quite a few odd stares from the people he passed. By the time he reached his immortal's cave, his heart was pounding. Then he saw that the door was open, and the cave was completely empty except for the geese standing guard.
“How did they get out?!” he thought, standing there in a daze. It didn’t seem possible. Suddenly, he looked to the side to see a rabbit running along, spewing a whole bunch of words that ended with....
“Hahaha! This medicinal pill is incredible. I, Bai Xiaochun, am clearly super awesome. This rabbit can actually talk!”
Bai Xiaochun’s eyes went wide, and at the same time, the rabbit caught sight of him, and its eyes went wide too. It immediately turned tail and fled. Well aware that a disaster was underway, Bai Xiaochun lunged at the rabbit. Unfortunately, the rabbit’s speed was explosive, and in the blink of an eye, not even its shadow could be seen. Bai Xiaochun’s jaw dropped. And that was when he heard the roaring voice of Li Qinghou.
“Bai Xiaochun! Get this mess cleaned up immediately! If I see one animal or one speck of bird crap, you’re going directly to 10,000 Snakes Valley! And make that damned rabbit shut up!!”
It didn’t matter that Bai Xiaochun had taken first place in the Chosen battles, or that he had made such incredible progress with his Undying Silver Skin. As soon as he heard ‘10,000 Snakes Valley’, he shivered. The mere thought of the place filled him with fear. Looking like he was about to cry, he subconsciously glanced further up the mountain, whereupon his eyes went wide.
Sitting there on the roof of Li Qinghou’s residence was a monkey, its chin resting on its palm, apparently lost in thought.
On the verge of tears, Bai Xiaochun raced up the mountain toward the monkey. As he closed in, the monkey looked over, a seemingly emotional look in its eyes, as if it were thinking about how wonderful it had been to enjoy freedom. Although Bai Xiaochun was a bit shocked, he quickly grabbed the monkey and threw it into his bag of holding.
With that, he raced off nervously to scour the rest of Fragrant Cloud Peak. Wherever he went, the disciples looked at him with strange expressions. The next beast he caught was the nine-headed tiger, and after that, the eye-covered toads.
Soon he had the elephant-sized chickens, and then the legged fish. Not long after that, the burping cats were in custody. The ducks were the easiest of all to apprehend.
It was nearing the end of the day by the time he rounded up the twitching monkeys and threw them into his bag of holding. The hardest to catch were the defecating pigeons, which took a lot of effort. By the time he caught the last one, it was late at night. After taking stock, he realized that the only animal left was the talking rabbit.
Unfortunately, despite much searching, Bai Xiaochun couldn’t find it. The rabbit was an expert at hiding.
“Ai.” Sighing, he looked at the bird excrement covering Fragrant Cloud Peak and got to work cleaning it up. It took the whole night. By the time he returned to his immortal's cave, exhausted, it was dawn.
As the sun rose, the disciples of Fragrant Cloud Peak emerged to find the mountain peak squeaky clean. When they thought back to the events of the previous day, they suddenly had a much deeper understanding of Bai Xiaochun’s medicinal pills. Of course, those disciples who had been showered with bird excrement were furious about the matter, but there was little they could do. After all, they knew Bai Xiaochun hadn’t done any of it on purpose.
Even still, the hijinks he caused were happening over and over again. As such, terror regarding Bai Xiaochun was growing in the hearts of all.
Bai Xiaochun slept until afternoon. Upon waking up, he decided that he didn’t dare perform any more strange pill experiments. Leaving the sect, he went far out into the wilderness, where he found a safe place to release all of the animals from his bag of holding.
“You’re all free now....” he said with a bitter smile.
The animals who hadn’t eaten any of his medicinal pills quickly scurried away. However, the other animals simply stood there looking at Bai Xiaochun. He looked back at them for a moment before producing some more medicinal pills from his bag of holding.
“If you eat some of these pills, maybe you can start building up your own cultivation. Be good, alright? You really caused me a lot of trouble yesterday.” He gave a medicinal pill to each animal, then waved and turned to leave. It was at that point that nine-headed tiger let out a powerful roar.
Bai Xiaochun looked over his shoulder to find the nine-headed tiger looking at him with a strange gleam in its eyes, as if it were committing his features to memory. With that, it turned and sped off into the distance.
All the other animals had similar reactions as the tiger, including the ducks, the pigeons, the walking fish, the burping cats, the guardian geese, the eye-covered toads, and the twitching monkeys. With a final look at Bai Xiaochun, they scattered.
The last to leave was the thoughtful monkey, which looked at Bai Xiaochun with what seemed to be a gleam of intelligence. For some reason, Bai Xiaochun felt that there was something profound about that monkey.
After giving Bai Xiaochun a very deep look, it turned and headed off into the distance.
Bai Xiaochun was left gaping. For some reason, he'd gotten the feeling that the monkey was just as intelligent as a human. The profound look in its eyes had been clear.
Thoughtfully pulling out a jade slip, he found the information about the pill he’d fed to that monkey.
“There’s something about that pill... that I don’t understand!” He looked thoughtfully at the departing animals, wishing them well. Their lives had changed because of him, and he truly hoped that they would be happy.
Eventually, wings sprouted from Bai Xiaochun's back, and he shot back toward the sect.Previous Chapter Next Chapter
Translator: Deathblade. Chinese language consultant: ASI a.k.a. Beerblade. Editor: GNE. Memes: Logan. Meme archives: Tocsin