Chapter 17 – Despair
The sound of the footsteps slowly drew near. From within the darkness, a man finally appeared. In his hands, he held a flower.
A tiny yellow flower.
The one who came was the crazy monk.
He was still wearing that ink-splattered robe. He slowly walked over, placing the yellow flower within the midst of the bamboo patch.
“People return to their origins. Flowers return to their origins as well.”
That dense sadness remained in his eyes. “But although the yellow flower is the same as it ever was, the features of this place have totally changed.”
Fu Hongxue was also stupidly staring at the yellow flower beneath the bamboo patch. “You know where I came from. You also knew where the flower came from. Thus, you came.”
The crazy monk said, “What do you know?”
Fu Hongxue said, “I know nothing.”
The crazy monk said, “You don’t know who plucked the flower. Do you also not know who I am?”
Fu Hongxue said, “Who are you?”
The crazy monk suddenly pointed at the ink splatters on his robes. “Can you tell what this is?”
Fu Hongxue shook his head.
The crazy monk let out a sigh. He suddenly sat down in front of Fu Hongxue. “Take another look. You must look at it whole heartedly.”
Fu Hongxue hesitated, but finally sat as well.
The faint starlight gleamed down upon this originally-spotless white monk’s robe, upon the messy ink.
He quietly looked, as though he were staring at tiny bit of light from a burning joss stick in that hidden room.
If you felt as though this joss stick was no longer flickering, and was in fact as bright as a torch, then you had succeeded halfways.
And then, you would even able to see the smoke rising above the joss very clearly, as clear as the white clouds above a high mountain.
He wholeheartedly stared. He suddenly felt as though the messy ink splatters were no longer messy, as though there was a strange rhythym to them.
And then, he realized these messy ink splatters formed a painting. Within it, it seemed as though there were high mountains, flowing rivers, and sabre light which danced without ceasing, as well as tears on the face of children.
“What, exactly, did you paint?”
“That which is in your heart, is what I have painted.”
Paintings were always given birth from the heart.
This wasn’t merely just any painting. It was a superb masterpiece of art.
Light shone out of Fu Hongxue’s eyes. “I know who you are now. You must be Gongzi Yu’s subordinate, Wu Hua.”
The crazy monk laughed loudly. “There clearly is a painting. Why must you say that there is no painting? If there was no painting, how could there be a person?” [The pronunciation of the name ‘Wu Hua’ sounds exactly like the words for ‘no painting’.]
“Naturally, the person in the painting.”
Within the picture, there were tears on the face of children. Naturally, they were the people he was thinking of. “Where did they go?”
The crazy monk said, “There clearly is a person, but you still insist on asking. It seems the crazy one isn’t the monk, but you.”
Laughing loudly, he pointed with a finger. “Take another look. Aren’t the people right there?”
He was pointing at that small room.
The doors and the windows of the small house were always open. But at some point in time, lights were lit as well.
Fu Hongxue stared along his pointing finger. He was instantly stunned.
The room really did have two people. Du Shiqi and Zhuo Yuzhen were there, eating gruel.
The bowl of gruel which had turned cold, suddenly was steaming warm again.
Fu Hongxue’s entire body had become ice cold.
Could it be that they were the same as the ink painting on the monk’s clothes; that they were totally imaginary?
They were not!
There really were two living people in the room. They really were Du Shiqi and Zhuo Yuzhen.
After seeing the ink on the monk’s clothes, it seemed as though he could clearly see every single wrinkle on their faces, as though he could even see the pores on their faces open and close, their muscles jumping about.
But they didn’t pay him any attention at all.
Most people, in a situation like this, would jump up, rush over, or shout loudly.
Fu Hongxue wasn’t most people.
Although he had already stood up, he only quietly stood there, not even moving.
Because he not only saw them, he saw even more deeply, saw even further. In the blink of an eye, he saw the entire truth to the whole affair.
The crazy monk said, “Are the people you are looking for here?”
Fu Hongxue said, “Yes.”
The crazy monk said, “Why don’t you go over there?”
Fu Hongxue slowly turned his head. He fixed him with his gaze. His eyes, which had turned red with sorrow and exhaustion earlier, suddenly became clear and grim. He gazed at him with dagger-sharp eyes for a long time, before slowly saying, “I only hope you understand one thing.”
The crazy monk said, “Speak.”
Fu Hongxue said, “If I were to pull out my sabre right now, you will certainly die. In heaven or on earth, there is definitely no one who can save you.”
The crazy monk laughed again, but his laughter seemed a bit forced. “I’ve already let you see the people you are looking for, but you want me to die!”
Fu Hongxue said, “Looking at them isn’t enough.”
The crazy monk said, “What else do you want?”
Fu Hongxue coldly said, “I want you to quietly sit here. I want you to tell the people who are hiding behind the door and in the corners of the room to come out. If they so much as harm a hair on Zhuo Yuzhen or Du Shiqi’s head, I will immediately cut your throat.”
The crazy monk no longer laughed. His eyes, which always happily stared at others with a stupid expression, suddenly became clear and ruthless. After a long period of time, he slowly said, “You didn’t see wrongly. There truly are people hiding behind the door and in the corners of the room. But they definitely won’t come out.”
Fu Hongxue said, “You don’t believe that I will kill you?”
The crazy monk said, “I do believe.”
Fu Hongxue said, “You don’t care?”
The crazy monk said, “I care very much. Unfortunately, they don’t care. Killing and bleeding have long ago become common sights to them. Even if you chop me into ground meat, I guarantee that they won’t even frown.”
Fu Hongxue shut his mouth.
He knew that these words were true words, because he already saw a face appear in the window. He already saw the sabre scars and hideous grin.
The person hiding in the corner of the room was Gongsun Tu.
The crazy monk dully said, “You should understand this person very well. Even if you chopped his own son into ground meat, I’m afraid he still wouldn’t even frown.”
Fu Hongxue couldn’t deny it.
The crazy monk said, “Right now, I only want to understand one thing.”
Fu Hongxue said, “Speak.”
The crazy monk said, “If they chopped Zhuo Yuzhen and Du Shiqi into ground meat, would you care?”
Fu Hongxue’s hands tightened, but his heart sunk.
Gongsun Tu suddenly laughed loudly. “Great! Great question! I can also guarantee that if Fu Hongxue so much as harms a hair on your head, I will immediately cut their throats.”
Fu Hongxue’s pale face had already been twisted with rage and pain.
The crazy monk said, “Do you believe the words he said?”
Fu Hongxue said, “I believe. And I care very much. I want them to keep on living, but I don’t know what you want?”
The crazy monk said, “Will you give us whatever we want?”
Fu Hongxue nodded. “So long as they live. So long as I have it.”
The crazy monk laughed again. “I just want you to take off your clothes. Take everything off.”
Fu Hongxue’s pallid face suddenly turned red. Every single vein on his body had suddenly bulged out. He would rather die than accept this sort of humiliation. However, right now he simply could not resist.
The crazy monk said, “I want you to strip right now. Strip everything off.”
Fu Hongxue lifted his hand up.
But he didn’t pull his clothes off. He drew out his sabre!
Sabre light flashed like lightning.
His body seemed even quicker than the sabre light.
During that flash of light, his body had already entered the wooden room, and his sabre had pierced into the wooden door.
A miserable wail within the room. Someone inside fell down. It was ‘If he intends to kill somebody, he abstains from nothing at all’, Yang Wuji.
He only had one hand left.
He never would have imagined that a sabre would pierce into his chest from through the door.
Stunned, he looked at Fu Hongxue, as though to say, “So you killed me just like this?”
Fu Hongxue coldly glanced at him, as though he were saying, “If you intend to kill someone, abstain from nothing at all. I learned this from you.”
None of these words were said, because before Yang Wuji could say even a single word, he stopped breathing.
Fu Hongxue only glanced at him once. When he glanced at him, his sabre turned towards Gongsun Tu.
Gongsun Tu’s somersaulted backwards, jumping out the window.
He actually avoided the chop.
Because this chop was not intended to kill. Fu Hongxue used that chop to protect Zhuo Yuzhen.
With a flash of sabre light, the sabre entered the sheath again.
Gongsun Tu stood within the bamboo patch far away. Cold sweat poured down from his scarred face like rain.
Zhuo Yuzhen put down the gruel. Her tears immediately fell down her face like pearls. Du Shiqi stared at her. There was a strange look in his eyes.
The crazy monk sighed again. “Good. What a very fearsome person. What a quick sabre!”
Although there was no expression on Fu Hongxue’s face, his heart was still thumping like mad.
He wasn’t totally certain of success in the attack he had just launched. Only, all the trump cards seemed to be held in the enemy’s hands, and he had no other choice but to make a risky, last-ditch assault.
Gongsun Tu suddenly laughed coldly. “Although this gamble of yours paid off very well, you still haven’t won this game.”
Fu Hongxue said, “Oh?”
Gongsun Tu said, “Because the very last trump card is still in our hands.”
What was his last card?
Gongsun Tu said, “Actually, you yourself should be able to think of it. If nobody guided us here, how could we have found this place?”
Fu Hongxue’s hand tightened again.
Who, exactly, had sold him out?
He suddenly heard a cry of alarm. Du Shiqi suddenly reached out, seizing Zhuo Yuzhen’s arm, grabbing her over and placing her before him.
Fu Hongxue suddenly turned around. “It was you!”
Du Shiqi looked at him. There was still a very strange look in his eyes, as though he wanted to speak, but couldn’t bear to.
Fu Hongxue said, “Originally, you were a bold man. How could you do something like this?”
Du Shiqi finally couldn’t resist saying, “You…”
He only said that one word, but his eyes suddenly bulged out. Fresh blood suddenly flowed out at the same time from his eyes, his nose, and the corners of his mouth.
Zhuo Yuzhen hit him with her arms, and he fell down. A sharp knife stuck out from between his ribs. A foot-long blade without a handle. His face was skewed with pain, and his lips were spasmodically jerking, as though he were still saying, “I was wrong, wrong…”
It would be difficult for any human being to avoid making a mistake. Nobody was an exception to the rule.
As soon as Zhuo Yuzhen’s hands released the knife, she immediately retreated. She suddenly turned around and hugged Fu Hongxue tightly. She cried out, “I killed someone…I killed someone!”
To her, it seemed as though killing someone was worse than being killed.
This clearly was the first time she killed someone.
Fu Hongxue had this sort of experience before. The first time he killed someone, he vomited out all the contents of his stomach.
He understood this feeling.
It was definitely not easy to forget this sort of feeling.
But people continued to kill other people. Only people would kill other people, because some people would force others to kill.
This sort of affair sometimes became like a pestilence. Nobody was able to avoid it, because if you don’t kill him, he will kill you.
The one who was killed would have peace. The killer would be embroiled in torment.
Isn’t this another satirical tragedy?
Everything became peaceful again.
The blood had already stopped flowing. The foe was far away now. The world was now dark, and no sound at all could be heard.
Even the wailing cries of the children had stopped.
Fu Hongxue’s entire body became cold. “Did the children fall into their hands?”
Zhuo Yuzhen suppressed her pain and instead comforted him. “The children will be fine. They don’t want the children.”
Fu Hongxue immediately asked, “What do they want?”
Zhuo Yuzhen hesitated. “What they want is…”
Fu Hongxue said, “Is it the Peacock Plume?”
Zhuo Yuzhen could only admit it. “They believe that Qiu Shuiqing has already given the Peacock Plume to me. As long as I am willing to give them the Peacock Plume, they will return the children to me.”
Her tears began to drip again. “But I do not have the Peacock Plume. I’ve never even seen that damn thing.”
Fu Hongxue’s hands were so cold. So cold, it was frightening.
Zhuo Yuzhen clenched his hands. She gloomily said, “I didn’t want to tell you this at first. I know that there is no one in the world who can go and get the children back for me.”
Fu Hongxue said, “They are my children as well.”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “But you don’t have the Peacock Plume. Even if you can kill them all, you still won’t be able to get my children back.”
Fu Hongxue shut his mouth.
He couldn’t deny that he himself couldn’t solve this problem. He felt as though there were a dagger slicing his heart.
Zhuo Yuzhen consoled him again, “They won’t harm the children for now. But you…”
She gently held Fu Hongxue’s pale white face. “You are already too tired, and you are injured as well. You must rest well, and think of a way to temporarily forget about these worries.”
Fu Hongxue did not open his mouth, nor did he move.
He was totally numb, because he did not have the Peacock Plume, and he could not rescue his children.
He had personally delivered them into this world, but now he could only watch and do nothing as they suffered. Watch as they die.
Zhuo Yuzhen naturally could see his pain. Crying, she pulled him onto the bed. Pressing his shoulders, she said in a soft voice, “Right now, you must do your best to relax. Don’t think about anything. Let me treat your wound.”
She gently caressed his face, then forcefully sealed seven of his acupoints.
No one could think of this change. Even if everyone in the world could have thought of this, Fu Hongxue definitely could not have thought of it.
Shocked, he looked at her. But his surprise was far inferior to his pain.
When you truly have treated someone whole heartedly, only to have that person to sell you out…this sort of pain is indescribable.
Zhuo Yuzhen laughed. Her laughter was very soft and gentle, very sweet.
“It seems you are very unhappy. Is it your wound which hurts, or your heart which hurts?”
Her laughter became even more cheerful. “Regardless of which place is hurting, it won’t hurt very shortly.”
Because dead people can’t feel pain.
Smiling, she asked, “Originally, I thought you had the Peacock Plume, but now it seems that I was wrong. So, I will kill you immediately. By then, you won’t have any troubles or worries at all.”
Fu Hongxue’s lips were chapped. He couldn’t even say a single word.
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “I know you must want to ask me why I have treated you like this, but I refuse to tell you.”
She looked at his sabre. “You said that nobody is allowed to touch your sabre, but right now, I insist on touching it.”
She stretched her hand out and pulled out the sabre. “Not only am I going to touch it, I am going to use this sabre to kill you.”
Her hand was only an inch away from the sabre.
Fu Hongxue suddenly said, “It’s still best if you don’t touch it!”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “Why?”
Fu Hongxue said, “Because I still don’t want to kill you.”
Zhuo Yuzhen laughed loudly. “I insist on touching it, and I want to see what sort of method you will use to kill me.”
She finally touched that sabre!
His sabre suddenly flipped up, striking the back of her hand. The pitch-black scabbard felt like a piece of extremely hot metal.
A red mark immediately appeared on her hand. It was so painful, her tears almost immediately came out, but her terror was far greater than her pain.
She clearly remembered forcefully sealing seven of his acupoints, and her movements had always been very accurate.
Fu Hongxue said, “Unfortunately, there’s something which you never could have imagined.”
Zhuo Yuzhen forced herself to ask, “What?”
Fu Hongxue said, “Every single acupoint on my body has already been moved aside by one inch.”
Zhuo Yuzhen was stunned.
She hadn’t left any room for error in her calculations at all, and her acupoint sealing techniques were correct. The person who was wrong was Fu Hongxue. But even in her dreams, she wouldn’t have imagined that his acupoints were in the wrong place as well. This one-inch difference caused her entire plan to fall apart.
She was annoyed and bitterly remorseful, blaming everything and everyone but herself. But she forgot to think about where this one-inch difference came form.
Twenty years of bitter training. An inexhaustible amount of blood and sweat. A steadfast, unsurpassable determination. A teeth-grinding restraint.
This is what he had traded for that one-inch difference. There is no such thing as ‘luck’ in the world.
She didn’t think of any of this. She only thought of one thing. After this defeat, she definitely wouldn’t have a second opportunity.
She had totally fallen apart as well.
But Fu Hongxue had already risen to his feet. He coldly stared at her, then suddenly said, “I know you are hurt as well.” Zhuo Yuzhen said, “You know?”
Fu Hongxue said, “Your injury is beneath your ribs, between your first and third bones. The wound is four inches long and seven tenths of an inch deep.”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “How did you know?”
Fu Hongxue said, “Because that was my sabre.”
Outside the main hall of the Ancient Monastery of the Heavenly Dragon, blood dripped from the tip of his sabre.
Fu Hongxue said, “The person who ambushed me outside the main hall of the Ancient Monastery of the Heavenly Dragon with Gongsun Tu was you.”
Zhuo Yuzhen actually managed to restrain herself. “Right. It was me.”
Fu Hongxue said, “Your sword skills are very good.”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “Not bad.”
Fu Hongxue said, “After I went to the monastery, you immediately followed after me.”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “You didn’t move too quickly.”
Fu Hongxue said, “The reason why Gongsun Tu and the others were able to find this place, naturally was not because Du Shiqi gave away the secret.”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “Naturally, it wasn’t him. It was me.”
Fu Hongxue said, “So you killed him to silence him.”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “Naturally, I could not let him expose my secret.”
Fu Hongxue said, “They were able to find Mingyue Xin. Naturally, this was because of you as well.”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “If it wasn’t me, how could they have discovered that Mingyue Xin had returned to the secret room within the Peacock Manor?”
Fu Hongxue said, “You admit to all of this?”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “Why wouldn’t I admit to it?”
Fu Hongxue said, “Why did you do these things?”
Zhuo Yuzhen suddenly removed a pearl flower from her clothes. It was the same pearl flower which he had taken off the body of ‘Forefinger’ Zhao Ping then given to her in the Peacock Manor.
Looking at this flower, she said, “You certainly must remember where this came from.”
Fu Hongxue remembered.
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “That day, I didn’t want anything. All I wanted was this pearl flower. You must have thought that I was like other women; once I saw pearls, I forgot everything else.”
Fu Hongxue said, “You aren’t?”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “I insisted on taking this pearl flower, because I was afraid that you would see the Peacock Insignia on it.”
Fu Hongxue said, “Peacock?”
Zhuo Yuzhen said, “This pearl flower was a token of love from Qiu Shuiqing to Zhuo Yuzhen. Up to her death, she was still wearing it.”
Fu Hongxue said, “Zhuo Yuzhen is already dead?”
Zhuo Yuzhen coldly said, “If she didn’t die, how could this pearl flower be on Zhao Ping’s body?”
Fu Hongxue suddenly fell silent, because he had to control himself.
After a long time, he lightly let out a sigh. “You really aren’t Zhuo Yuzhen. Who are you?”
She laughed again. Her laughter was ruthless and sly. “You ask me who I am? Have you forgotten that I am your wife?”
Fu Hongxue’s hand went ice cold.
“I married you. Although it was only because I wanted to give you a burden and hang on to you, to tire you to death, to fight others to the death for me at any place and any time, anybody would have to admit that I still married you.”
“I caused Mingyue Xin’s death. I caused Yan Nanfei’s death. I killed Du Shiqi. I wanted to kill you. But I am your wife.” Her laughter was very brutal. “I just want you to remember this. If you kill me, then go ahead and make your move now!”
Fu Hongxue suddenly charged outside. Without even looking back, he charged into the darkness.
He could no longer look back.
Darkness. A darkness which caused one to lose all hope and fall into despair.
Fu Hongxue charged like a madman. He couldn’t stop, because as soon as he stopped, he would fall down.
He didn’t think about anything, because he couldn’t think.
The Peacock Manor was destroyed, but Qiu Shuiqing did not complain at all. He only begged one thing of him, only begged him to protect the very last heir to the Qiu family bloodline.
But now, Zhuo Yuzhen was already dead.
‘She’ knew that the Peacock Insignia was on the pearl flower, and so ‘she’ was definitely one of the killers.
But he was wholeheartedly taking care of her, protecting her, and had even taken her as his wife.
If it weren’t for her, how could Mingyue Xin have died?
If it weren’t for him protecting her, how could Yan Nanfei have died?
But he always thought that what he had done was correct. Only now did he know how horrible were the things he had done.
But now, it was too late. Unless a miracle happened, dead people would never come back to life.
He never believed in miracles.
So aside from running about in the darkness like a wild dog, what else could he do right now?
Even if he killed ‘her’, so what?
He didn’t dare think about this, couldn’t think about this. His mind had slowly become chaotic, a chaos which approached insanity.
After he used up all of his energy running, he collapsed. When he collapsed, he began to twitch and spasm.
That invisible whip once again began to rain blows on him without stopping. Now, not only all the deities of heaven and demons of hell were punishing him and making him suffer, he himself was tormenting himself as well.
This, at least, he could still do.
The small room was silent.
It seemed as though there was someone speaking outside, but the voice seemed to come from far away. Everything seemed very blurry, very distant. Even he himself seemed to be very far away. But he clearly was here, in this narrow, cramped, stuffy, vulgar little room.
What place, exactly, was this?
Whose room was this?
All he seemed to remember was that before he collapsed, he charged into a narrow alleyway.
He seemed to have come here before. But his memory was very blurred, very distant.
The voices outside suddenly became louder. It was a man talking to a woman.
“Don’t forget that we are old lovers. How can you give me the cold shoulder like this?” This was the man’s voice.
“I told you, today we can’t. I beg you to come again another day, okay?” Although the female voice was imploring, she sounded very adamant.
“Why isn’t today suitable?”
“Because…because today, I’m on my period.”
“Blow your mother’s as*hole.” The man suddenly became furious. “Even if your period really came, you’d still have to take your pants off and show me.”
When a man was at a point where he couldn’t give vent to his lust, his temper usually became very bad.
“Aren’t you afraid of the smell?”
“I’m not afraid! I f***ing have money. I’m not afraid of anything! Here’s five silver coins. Why don’t you take it first, then take your pants off!”
Five silver coins could solve lust?
Five silver coins could humiliate a girl?
What place was this? What type of world was this?
Fu Hongxue’s entire body went cold, as though he had suddenly been sunk into cold water, all the way to the bottom.
He finally remembered what place this was. Finally saw that small ancestral shrine in front of the bed. Finally remembered that girl with the jasmine flowers.
Why did he come here? Was it because she had said to him, “I will wait for you!”
Was it because he was now just like her, without any place to go?
Was it because he had restrained his lust for too long, and this place could let him give vent to it?
Only he himself could answer these questions. But the answers were hidden in the deepest, most secretive recesses in his heart. Perhaps no one would ever be able to pull them out.
Perhaps even he himself could not. He no longer thought about it, because at this moment, a large, drunken fellow charged into the room.
“Ha! I f***ing knew you were hiding a man in here. I f***ing caught you!”
His large hand had already reached towards Fu Hongxue’s bed, but the one he grabbed was not Fu Hongxue, but the girl wearing jasmine flowers.
She had already rushed forward, standing guard in front of the bed. She loudly said, “I won’t let you touch him. He’s sick.”
The big fellow laughed loudly. “Out of all the men you could find, you had to find a sick sot?”
The girl wearing jasmine flowers ground her teeth. “If you insist, I can go somewhere else with you, and I won’t even charge you those five silvers. I’ll do it for free this time.”
The big fellow looked at her, appearing very surprised. “You’ve always demanded payment first. Why are you willing to do it for free this time?”
She loudly said, “Because I am happy.”
The big fellow was suddenly angry again. “Why the f*** should I care about if you are happy or not? If you’re happy, I’m not f***ing happy.”
He exerted his strength. Like a large eagle snatching a little chicklet, he carried her entire person off.
She did not resist. Because she could not resist, would not resist. She had long since become accustomed to being humiliated by men.
Fu Hongxue finally stood up. “Release her.”
The big fellow stared at him in astonishment. “Was it you who spoke?”
Fu Hongxue nodded.
The big fellow said, “You diseased sot, did you actually f***ing tell me to release her?”
Fu Hongxue nodded. “If I f***ing refuse to put her down, what is a diseased sot like you going to do?”
He finally saw the sabre in Fu Hongxue’s hand. “Punk, so you have a sabre? Do you dare to kill me?”
Killing. More killing!
Why must men force other men to kill?
Fu Hongxue quietly sat down. He felt as though his stomach was contracting. He almost couldn’t resist the urge to vomit.
The big fellow laughed loudly. He was tall, large, and robust. Muscles bulged from his arms. With a light movement, he tossed the girl onto the bed. And then, he gripped Fu Hongxue’s clothes, loudly laughing, “Sick bastard, do you think you can be a prostitute’s bodyguard? I want to see how many f***ing bones you have!”
The girl wearing jasmine flowers shrunk away on the bed, shouting in alarm.
The big fellow was preparing to lift Fu Hongxue up and throw him outside the door.
With a thudding sound, someone was heavily thrown to the ground outside, but it wasn’t Fu Hongxue. It was the big fellow who wanted to throw him.
He clambered to his feet, then charged towards him again, slamming his fist towards Fu Hongxue’s face.
Fu Hongxue didn’t move.
The big fellow clutched his hand, bending his waist in pain so great that cold sweat began to flow. Shouting loudly, he rushed out.
Fu Hongxue closed his eyes.
But the eyes of the girl wearing jasmine flowers were wide open. Shocked, she looked at him, appearing both amazed and admiring.
Fu Hongxue slowly stood up, then slowly walked out. His clothes had already been soaked through with cold sweat.
Restraint wasn’t an easy thing.
Restraint is pain. A pain which very few people can understand.
Outside the door, the sunlight was dazzlingly bright. Underneath the light of the sun, his face seemed almost translucent.
Underneath this fresh, brilliant sunlight, what could a person like him do? Where could he go?
He suddenly felt as though there was an unspeakable feeling of dread in his heart. The one he feared wasn’t another person. It was himself.
He also feared the sunlight, because he didn’t dare to face this dazzling, fresh sunlight. Nor did he dare to face himself.
He collapsed once more.