Honorable mention – Jonathan T.
I am Jiang Huang Di
I subjugated the heavens, sealed the yellow springs, and brought the emperors of countless kingdoms to their knees.
And yet, who is this brattish fop that my heavenly technique has divined?
My Clear Storm, Open Sky technique can allow me to see only the most promising individuals of the far future, and yet for some reason it has chosen to focus on this insignificant Jiang Chen?
To take the name of my own son, an unparalleled genius, grand overseer of the Tianlang library, whose very existence defies the heavens, does this child even understand how blessed he is to bear the name Jiang Chen?!
Aaaah, perhaps he is not as simple as he seems. I shall divine his story a bit further.
(Jiang Huang Di enters the consciousness of Jiang Chen)
Ahhh Xuan Xuan, do you not remember what my Jiang family has done for you?
Yes… I do… but what your asking…..
Ahhh Fatty, if not for me, would you have ever encountered the wonders of the Carnal Prayer Mat?
No… I wouldn’t have…. please don’t make this difficult Chen Bro…
THEN HELP ME GET LAID FATTY XUAN!
The passerby on the nearby road immediately started to speed up, wary of the strange pair of wealthy young men.
It seems that these two were, as usual, being extraordinarily unruly in the prime of their own youth.
Jiang Chen specifically, had his sights set on a girl of remarkable looks named Hua Mei, however he simply could not find her.
After encountering her near the Duke of Tianshui’s territory, Jiang Chen had become immediately infatuated with her and resolved to conquer her as he had the mountains of other women before her.
However, it seemed that as he dug around more and more, this Hua Mei had deep ties to the many Duke’s of the Eastern Kingdom! She floated from dukedom to dukedom, only appearing at large banquets and ceremonies, and every time she did make a public appearance her entire body would be veiled in a red wreath so that no one could even catch a glimpse of her skin.
It was because of this that the kingdom referred to her as “The Flower who did not see the sun”. However, Jiang Chen was determined to take this name from her (as he wanted to physically deflower her, what a savage).
So he had persuaded Fatty Xuan to aid him in his quest to satisfy his carnal desires.
And he would have his chance! This supposed beauty would certainly go to the upcoming rite for the daughter of Eastern Lu.
However, it would still be difficult for them to track her down.
(Jiang Huang Di is still deep in thought, and quickly breaks from the divination)
Haha, it seems the gods have brought me with this boy who is named after my son for a reason.
“Suppose I were to help this child out a bit and find out where this beauty was! After all, I too can appreciate those blessed by the heavens in all places.
And, since my divination technique has already landed on this child, might as well find something truly worth looking at.
Indeed, I will assist this boy, truly he has had good fortune!”
(Jiang Huang Di returns to the divination to find it is now the day before the rite)
“AAAAAH FATTY WHERE COULD SHE POSSIBLY BE!!?” J
They had been at the temple desperately searching for almost four days now, which surprised the entire Jiang family, as they had even showed up for the ceremony early in order to conduct such a search!
Jiang Feng was mildly pleased, as he thought his son was simply eager to make a positive impression for Eastern Zhiruo and Eastern Lu if they took attendance of the ceremony.
But Jiang Chen and Fatty had no luck whatsoever finding the veiled beauty, and soon found themselves in desperate straights
“Look at me Fatty, if I do not find this girl, it would be a crime against every man in the country. Only those with unyielding perseverance can even attempt to enjoy the fruits of such a beauty!”
Fatty Xuan could only nod, exhausted from running around searching
Suddenly, a duck rushed by the two, with its neck covered in a veil!
A red veil!
Jiang Chen and Xuan Xuan of course, had not noticed, due to their despondence at not having found the beauty. But suddenly something shocking happened!
A line of ducks, carrying garments of every type, from a dress all the way to the panties quickly ran past the duo!
Shocked, Jiang Chen immediately decided to follow the duck with Fatty in tow.
After all, even if he could not taste the Veiled flower, he could at least compensate with whoever this girl was that was unfortunate enough to have lost all her clothes to the ducks!
And very quickly, the ducks brought the duo to a small cottage directly on the outskirts of the temple.
Inside a light was on, and no one else was to be seen.
“Listen Fatty, I will go inside the cottage and seduce whoever is inside okay? Just make up some excuses to my father so that he won’t come searching for me”
“But Jiang Chen… I don’t think this is a good idea…”
“Fatty, you cannot come between a man and his destiny! This is a job that I, Jiang Chen, simply must undertake! My pride as a man is at stake!”
Fatty Xuan could only nod in half understanding, and then depart
With full confidence, Jiang Chen stepped into the cottage and said:
“Hey Baby! It seems the heavens have told me to bring back some things that are precious to you!”
With that, a stream of ducks entered the cottage, each bearing the private garments of a young lady!
However, the cottage was utterly empty, it seemed that no one was inside!
Jiang Chen was utterly disappointed, and prepared to leave, when he suddenly heard a whistle come from what appeared to be the cellar.
He quietly put his ear to the floor, and discovered something shocking!
Someone was snoring in the basement! And it sounded like a girl!
He had already been holding out for so long, and he after days of unrestrained fantasy he decided to enter the basement.
BANG! He bust into the cellar to find a woman lying with her back toward him.
Such sumptuous curves! Such a bountiful chest! Jiang Chen could no longer hold himself back, and thrust himself onto the woman. Startled, she turned around so she could see her intruder.
OH GOD! Jiang Chen was so shocked that he nearly fainted! This woman was no beauty at all! Her face was like a crocodile had been burned in a pit of acid and plastered onto a beautiful doll. It was at that moment, when the woman turned in embarassment, and said
“Sorry young master, I know not of your name, but may I inquire whether you are Jiang Chen?”
“Yes, that’s me, am I famous round these parts?”
“Oh young master, I have heard so many stories of you. Would you care to drink some tea with me?”
“That would be, err, lovely!”
Jiang Chen did not want to accept, but he felt overwhelming guilt for breaking and entering into this poor womans house. And not only did he nearly rape her, but at the last second he jumped at the shock of how ugly her face was! If he denied her this tea time, then he would surely be a soulless bastard.
(Divination ends for Jiang Huang Di)
Disgusting, absolutely disgusting!
I, Jiang Huang Di, am completely disappointed in the quality of that era’s women!
However, isn’t it fishy that she knew of his name?
After all, this Jiang Chen seemed like a hooligan at best, nobody could’ve even known who he was outside of the province!
This bumpkin, it seemed that he had been driven into a trap!
Then he recalled the woman’s last words
“Would you care to drink some tea with me?”
Oh no, that poor fool. It seems some people decided to play a prank on him! That would make sense! The veiled beauty must not have existed, and they probably toyed with him to get him to that womans cottage! I bet that woman is actually the prankster, and is planning to do something rather funny to Jiang Chen. Perhaps the tea was loaded with a nefarious substance?
At that moment, the true Jiang Chen entered his fathers chambers.
Esteemed father! I have made a breakthrough in my research on my condition! Perhaps if we added this Golden fish scale to the… father? You don’t look well, did something happen?
Ah Chen’er, its nothing. I just had a strange revelation about some bumpkin named after you. Its just so refreshing to see that my son is so brilliant! I’m sure that even if you were born in that child’s shoes, you could make the Jiang name shake the heavens and shatter the earth. But that boy is simply too trash.
Isn’t it funny how fate works, Chen’er?