HJC – Book 5, Chapter 30.3

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Chapter 30 Paradise Strange (3)

While traveling to the Heavenly Bow Unit, Zhou Weiqing’s five energy whirlpools at his Death Acupuncture Points had been drawing in energy at full speed, and by now at least half of his Heavenly Energy had already recovered. As he lifted up his right hand, an icy mist issued forth as the Overlord Bow coalesced in his hands.

Looking at the bow, Mu En’s eyes lit up. “What a good bow! The lines, the strength, the patterns, and even the feel of Heavenly Energy from it. This should be specially made for Strength Heavenly Jewel Masters, and is definitely extremely powerful. When you have a few more sets of Jewels, I wonder what power will this Bow have. What is its name?”

Zhou Weiqing grinned and said: “Overlord Bow.” He was 14 years old this year, and it could be said that the happiest years of his life were the ones he had spent with Mu En. At that time, he did not know that Mu En was a powerful Jewel Master from the Heavenly Bow Unit, and they had spent the time eating, drinking and having fun, touring the world. Of course, this was under Admiral Zhou’s restrictions, otherwise, visiting prostitutes and gambling would have been added to the list of fun.

“Overlord Bow? ‘Forcing yourself onto someone?’1 What a dirty name.”

Zhou Weiqing was struck speechless: “Teacher, it’s your thinking that is dirty!”

Mu En rolled his eyes and said: “Come to my room, and tell me what has happened over the past year. I really cannot imagine how your cultivation shot up four levels and even Awakened your Heavenly Jewels so quickly.”

Zhou Weiqing said: “Teacher, it’s five levels. I’m your disciple, how can I not be as genius as you are?”

Mu En thought about it for a second, and nodded his head in satisfaction, saying: “That makes a lot of sense, alright, at least you have some measure of my genius.”

As they entered Mu En’s wooden house, Zhou Weiqing saw that it was a terrible mess. The walls were all lined with pictures of naked beauties, and some of them even had the signs of mottled spots. 2

It took a while for Zhou Weiqing to find a relatively clean place to sit, and he told Mu En all about the past year. Towards his respected teacher, he naturally did not hide anything.

After listening to his tale, and examining the Alexandrite Cat’s Eye, Mu En asked Zhou Weiqing to show some of his Stored Skills, before finally believing it was all real.

“Damn! You little brat… your talent is just that little bit more than I, your father! No wonder, I saw that Bing’er was no longer a virgin, so it’s you little brat who did it. Envy, Jealousy, hate!” Mu En’s eyes rolled around in habit.

“Teacher, should I tell the rest what my Elemental Attributes are?” Zhou Weiqing asked.

Mu En immediately shook his head, a wicked look on his face as he grinned: “Why tell them? When the critical moment comes, perhaps we can give them a nice good surprise. You and Bing’er will be coming along with us for that mission, but it’s mostly to observe. During that time, you just stay by my side. When we come back, I’ll start teaching all my archery skills. Since you’re already a Heavenly Jewel Master, there are many things you have to learn. Your teacher will definitely train you well.”

“Teacher, can you not use the words Tiao Jiao 3 here? Oh yes, when are you going to bring me to the lady baths to peep once again, and to the inns and pubs to train our eyesight and estimate ‘cup sizes’? Oh right, the last time we stole someone’s chicken and barbequed it, that was an amazing taste that I can never forget up till now! You still haven’t thought me how to season and cook that!”

“Also, teacher, I realised that, my taste has started to differ from yours… I think now that girls with larger hips are more beautiful…”

“What do you understand! It isn’t that they must be larger, but they need to be well flared up. You still have many many things to learn brat…”

If there was a phrase to describe Mu En as a teacher, it would be ‘One and Only’ indeed.

Zhou Weiqing and Shangguan Bing’er were both assigned to a small wooden house each. In the Heavenly Bow Unit, they had to take care of their own food, and there weren’t any servants or the like. Of course, without question, Zhou Weiqing was the one preparing for Shangguan Bing’er as well; and with a disciple here now, how could Mu En not take advantage as well, and Zhou Weiqing thus had yet another person to prepare food for.

Zhou Weiqing saw that the other members of the Heavenly Bow Unit usually stayed in their own rooms, although Luo Ke Di left in the afternoon once again, likely headed out to drink once more. Mu En was in his own room, not knowing if he was looking at the pictures on the wall and ‘training his hands’, or was he cultivating Heavenly Energy.

As for Zhou Weiqing, he spent most of his time working hard and cultivating his Heavenly Energy. This was not to say that Zhou Weiqing was very hardworking, but it was just that having so many awesome skills and yet not sufficient Heavenly Energy to sustain them all, it was just too painful a thing. Furthermore, he could clearly feel that the cultivation speed of the Immortal Deity Technique was double his previous speed ever since he broke through the first portion, as the five energy whirlpools drew in energy at a rate that normal Heavenly Jewel Masters could not compare with.

No matter what, Zhou Weiqing still had fear in his heart regarding the Immortal Deity Technique. It just hurt so much every time he broke through a Death Acupuncture Point, and it was just luck that he had the energy from the black pearl earlier. Alas, starting on this Immortal Deity Technique was like boarding a pirate ship, now he could only hope to complete it as soon as possible and break through all 36 Death Acupuncture Points, after all, it was better to get the pain over with as soon as possible. This was one of the reasons why he was so enthusiastic about training and cultivating.

At this moment, Zhou Weiqing, Shangguan Bing’er and Mu En were sitting around a pot of Zhou Weiqing’s soup, which contained the bamboo and other unique vegetables from the Stars Forest.

“Little Wei, this little white tiger of yours, does it really not need to eat?” Mu En glanced at the Little White Tiger which was lazing in Zhou Weiqing’s lap. He did not know whether or not the little thing was really a Heavenly Beast, but he told Zhou Weiqing that even if it were so, it was still a youngling, and it wouldn’t grow up without dozens of years. Of course, rearing it as a pet was still fine.

Zhou Weiqing munched upon the bamboos that he had just dug up, and said: “I don’t know what’s going on either, but this little thing keeps going strong even without eating. I’ll just leave it be.”

Mu En’s eyes revealed a hint of curiosity: “Strange. If it isn’t a Heavenly Beast, then it would have died long ago without eating. Yet, if it’s a Heavenly Beast, I have never even heard of such a white coloured tiger. Could it be a skin disease?”

“What?! Could that be?” Zhou Weiqing eyed the little white tiger with an unfriendly look, as if he was about to throw it off its lap in fear of some transferable disease.

The little white tiger seemed to sense its incoming danger, shaking its head cutely, and roaring at Mu En.

“Eh, this little thing is very intelligent! It seems to know what I said. Little Wei, if this little thing is really a Heavenly Beast, then you have really gotten lucky! The higher the rank of the Heavenly Beast, the more intelligent it is. Alas, this little thing is still a youngling, otherwise, if it were a little bigger, you could use it as a steed.”

When the little white tiger heard that, its little eyes widened and it even stopped shaking its head, as if saying: What, you mere humans dare to use me as a steed?

Mu En grinned and laughed, as he chewed on his tobacco pipe, causing Shangguan Bing’er to look down quickly to prevent herself from losing her appetite.

“Little Wei, if this little thing is really a Heavenly Beast, and a King of the beasts, tiger type Heavenly Beast, then it is likely to be at least Zong Stage and above. Treat it well, and even if you aren’t able to use it, perhaps your kids will be able to.”

“Mu En Senior, what are you saying!” Shangguan Bing’er flushed in embarrassment, giving Zhou Weiqing a little kick before running out with her bowl.

Mu En said contently: “She’ll get used to it. Heh, Little Wei, how about I ask Hua Feng to let me have her as a disciple as well, to learn together with you.”

“What? No, no, no, teacher, you’re so great and strong, with such amazing abilities that even the gods and devils fear, how can you easily teach others?! I want to be your only disciple, and never share it with anyone, not even my wife! Those are our heritage secrets!” What a joke, how could he possibly let Shangguan Bing’er learn from his Scoundrel teacher… Heavens! What if she became a female scoundrel, then he wouldn’t need to live anymore. Although Hua Feng was a homosexual, but that’s a lot better than this perverted old man here! Instantly, Zhou Weiqing felt that homosexuals were so great! Although he was in love with his dad, at least it was very safe to have his wife learning from Hua Feng! Safety first!

The next day, as dawn broke, Zhou Weiqing was swatted awake by Mu En. Even with his strong senses, he did not know how Mu En entered his room without him discovering.

“Good morning teacher, so early?” Zhou Weiqing had cultivated for most of the night while lying down, and only started sleeping not long ago as the position was too comfortable, and as a result he was still rather sleepy. “Don’t talk rubbish, get up quickly, we’re leaving after breakfast.” Mu En grabbed the quilt off Zhou Weiqing.

Zhou Weiqing had no choice but to clamber off the bed, and only then did he realise that Mu En was dressed very differently from yesterday. Decked out in a grey outfit, he no longer looked like the lazy and mischievous old man of yesterday, looking full of energy and vitality.

Zhou Weiqing quickly dressed himself and followed Mu En into the courtyard, seeing that Mu En had already prepared breakfast, and the rest were all in the courtyard eating. As his eyes fell upon Shangguan Bing’er, he saw that she was already neatly dressed; her original Purple Dawn Bow had disappeared, and she was now shouldering a smaller green bow. The Purple Dawn Bow was considered a longbow, and was rather large, but the new green bow she had was almost half the size of the Purple Dawn Bow.

Mu En gave him a tap on the head, saying: “You do not need to look any further, that’s what Hua Feng gave to the little girl. He sure is generous, that Green Spirit Bow is light and has an extremely high firing rate, and is definitely one of the best bows for a Wind Attribute Jewel Master, a lot better than the large and heavy Purple Dawn Bow.

Zhou Weiqing grinned and said: “Teacher, look at Senior Hua Feng, so generous even for a welcoming gift… I’ve followed you for at least 2 years, shouldn’t you give me a good bow as well?”

Mu En gave a humph and said: “Hua Feng is rich, but I, Your Father, is very poor, even if I have money, it’s all spent on your temporary Shi Mu 4. En… Little Wei, let teacher give you a life lesson right now, how to depend on yourself!”

Zhou Weiqing had just scooped a mouth of soup into his mouth, and on hearing his teacher’s words, he almost sprayed it all out. He thought to himself: Huyan Master is already considered a miser, it seems like this master is comparable or even worse…

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  1. He is making a pun – 霸王弓 (Overlord Bow) 霸王攻 (Forcing yourself on someone) where 弓(Gong) and 攻 sound exactly the same.
  2. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  3. 调教, which originally means train / teach. However, in recent days on the internet it has become a slang which has a sexual innuendo. ie. I’m going to tiao jiao that girl to be my s** slave.
  4. Same case as Shi Shu, 师母 means Teacher/Master’s wife. By temporary… of course you know what that means right  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


28 thoughts on “HJC – Book 5, Chapter 30.3” - NO SPOILERS and NO CURSING

  1. Thanks for the chapter.

    Ef en with his strong senses, he did not know how Mu En entered his room without him discovering.
    -Even with (It sounds like he is swearing otherwise.)

  2. “…he was looking at the pictures on the wall and ‘training his hands’”

    LOL! This story is a riot. Praise to the author for incorporating real, and somewhat raw, humour into the novel.

    Thanks for the chapter.

  3. That part about “training his hands” left me laughing for so long I was gasping for breath, I even thought the I will suffocate to death. It was f**king hilarious :))))))

    1. What are you laughing about, that’s a perfectly real and legit universal training method that everyone learns sooner or later and practices diligently… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  4. the censorship of the 3rd memo makes me want to judge your morals. you censor the word sex, yet you dont censor the word slave, which is much much worse word.
    am i assuming right that you would not mind to be a slave as long you dont have to have sex? are those your morals?

    1. I don’t think that is necessarily the case. The translator probably doesn’t want to offend those that are underage… People often censor words that are inappropriate and sometimes when it comes to a phrase such as the one mentioned above, they just censor the one that is of “matured content.” Anyways, it all comes down to appropriateness regarding age I think. Even though the phrase has one meaning, some people just like to censor a part of it rather than the whole thing.

  5. Mu En thought about it for a second, and nodded his head in satisfaction, saying: “That makes a lot of sense, alright, at least you have some measure of my genius.”


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