Alright, at this point, I’ve managed to stabilize the website, but I’m pretty much throwing in the towel on Varnish for today. I’ll see if I can hire someone to do it for me properly 😛
See you guys in about 4-5 hours with Chapter 5!
EDIT: Will probably be 5-6 hours instead; I just got in touch with a Varnish/server admin specialist who I am paying to get the job done. Fingers crossed 😛